About crystalnight : I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite site on the Citadel.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13746) - you deserved it (31382)
On 05/25/2009 at 9:25pm - love - by Droolgirl (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was at the mall blasting music. I was wearing a nice shirt, and had my iPod in my breast pocket. I noticed a cute girl smiling at me, so I smiled back and as she started to walk over, I turned down my music while smiling. It looked like I was rubbing my nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23785) - you deserved it (51220)
On 05/20/2009 at 11:08pm - love - by zero_minded12 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, a woman drove through my house. She was texting and eating watermelon at the same time. I didn't know that was even possible, but now my house is condemned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (100843) - you deserved it (3611)
On 04/12/2009 at 9:53am - health - by Fitz (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, a woman drove through my house. She was texting and eating watermelon at the same time. I didn't know that was even possible, but now my house is condemned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (100843) - you deserved it (3611)
On 04/12/2009 at 9:53am - health - by Fitz (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my friend told the cute waiter it was my birthday. He brought out a dessert with a candle and put a huge sombrero on my head. Everyone at the restaurant started singing me happy birthday. I got embarrassed and put my head down. My sombrero caught on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57219) - you deserved it (21418)
On 03/29/2009 at 5:08pm - misc - by Hotsauce887 (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I decided to start working out because my friends said I'm scrawny and weak. I bought an expensive giant container of protein powder to take before during work outs. I wasn't strong enough to open the lid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60696) - you deserved it (17791)
On 03/22/2009 at 12:53am - health - by TANT (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, during a game of manhunt, my brother and his friends thought it would be funny to tie me to a telelphone pole with my very own multicolored jumprope from when I was younger. They left me there. My mom drove by, stared and then laughed, She kept driving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49285) - you deserved it (3856)
On 02/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29292) - you deserved it (6714)
On 02/03/2009 at 5:16pm - intimacy - by Zippyzoo (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I asked a little old lady in line at my work why she wasn't out enjoying the beautiful day with all her friends. Her response, "...I'd love to, but they're all dead." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10183) - you deserved it (18129)
On 02/01/2009 at 7:51pm - love - by beckbr - United States (Michigan)
Today, I received a text message from my older brother. It said, "Ah... I want you". I hope to god it was intended for someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19493) - you deserved it (1097)
On 01/30/2009 at 10:50am - misc - by Ren - United States (Illinois)
Today, I signed up on one of those "cheater" dating sites. I ended up meeting my own girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10096) - you deserved it (51141)
On 01/07/2009 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by Lou Czar - United States (Oregon)
Today, I woke up beside a disgusting guy I didn't know. He told me he was the best friend of the handsome guy I was hitting on yesterday evening. I can't remember at which point I got mislead into bringing the wrong one home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3759) - you deserved it (17055)
On 12/20/2008 at 12:50am - misc - by elo - Sent from mobile version
Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8079) - you deserved it (44684)
On 12/13/2008 at 10:58pm - intimacy - by Mateo - Sent from mobile version
Today, I decided to spend a night of love with my darling, so I arranged to meet him in a very classy hotel, gave him the room number and waited in a super-sexy outfit. There was a knock at the door, so I opened it enticingly, convinced it was him. It was room service. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19957) - you deserved it (7536)
On 12/05/2008 at 11:54pm - intimacy - by vaness@ - Sent from mobile version
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6291) - you deserved it (40369)
On 12/04/2008 at 12:55am - intimacy - by noname - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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