About crystalnight : I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite site on the Citadel.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, I bought a personalized cookie cake with "Will you go out with me?" for the girl I've liked for five months. When I showed her, she said no, but took the cake with her anyway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23645) - you deserved it (5116)
On 10/11/2010 at 2:18pm - love - by soccerlove09 - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was at work on a smoke break. I work at a truck stop, and it was around 2am. This old man pulls in and asks me if I would like to join him for some dinner. I said no, and told him I was working. He replies, "How much do you charge?" Apparently, even in sweats I look like a hooker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22373) - you deserved it (4454)
On 10/05/2010 at 5:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend's mother screamed at me for half an hour, calling me a slut because she found a black lacy thong in my boyfriend's bed. I didn't have the heart to tell her it wasn't mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52975) - you deserved it (6951)
On 07/01/2010 at 9:07pm - intimacy - by slut (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I asked my boyfriend if I looked alright for our date. He said, "Honey, you look fine, just don't go out in public like that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26779) - you deserved it (4449)
On 06/28/2010 at 11:19pm - love - by Chey1309 - United States (Michigan)
Today, I gave the toast at my sister's wedding which was outside. Before I started, the wind blew up my dress and wouldn't let up. Instead of giving my heartfelt speech, I spent five minutes fighting with my dress as 130 people pointed at my floral-printed underwear and laughed loudly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25010) - you deserved it (3633)
On 06/28/2010 at 2:18am - misc - by Kim422 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, after my girlfriend telling me for years that she would marry me in a heartbeat, I finally proposed. She said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32275) - you deserved it (2870)
On 01/05/2010 at 5:45am - love - by Chewy (man) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26882) - you deserved it (3065)
On 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by sickkid (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that I didn't get a job because I failed the psychological analysis. It told me to answer each question and tell the truth. So I did. I ask my friend, who got the job, if she told the truth. She said no. Apparently you have to lie in order to get a job. Sorry for being honest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20114) - you deserved it (5347)
On 11/09/2009 at 9:28pm - work - by samantha711 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 6 years. She said no. Why? She's already married. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40710) - you deserved it (4376)
On 11/07/2009 at 4:45pm - love - by John - United States
Today, my boyfriend of five years gave me the silent treatment, refusing to talk to me or do anything more than glare at me during the entire three hour drive we took this morning. Why? Because I slept with his best friend. In his dream last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52346) - you deserved it (5135)
On 10/27/2009 at 9:27am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I started my first day at work, I've been unemployed for a while and am in college, so naturally I have no money. At the end of my shift, I ask what we do with the extra bread, and they tell me to throw it away. Being poor and hungry, I decide to take the bread home. I got fired for stealing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36604) - you deserved it (6768)
On 10/19/2009 at 4:46am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my best friend, the man who I've been in love with for nine years, finally told me he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Unfortunately, it was while he was using me to practice proposing to his girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42253) - you deserved it (6120)
On 09/15/2009 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I saw a girl I haven't seen in 4 years. She used to like me back then. Since then I have lost 50 pounds, and never had the confidence to ask her out. She said I looked really sexy so I decided to ask her out on a date then and there. She said no, she only likes fat guys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40136) - you deserved it (3208)
On 09/06/2009 at 12:19am - love - by Nofatforme (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40189) - you deserved it (7047)
On 07/28/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by bsaucedo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend and I were exchanging some naughty pictures. I accidentally sent one to everybody on my contacts, including my ex, my boss, and even Pizza Hut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12596) - you deserved it (51644)
On 06/20/2009 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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