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Offline (the 04/13/2015 at 6:05am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 October 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9410
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About crystalnight : I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite site on the Citadel.

crystalnight's page activity

Visits<b>Devil_Dog1</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 3:43pm<b>phamalocity</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 4:18am<b>LonerTheWolf35</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 11:35pm<b>paintbullits</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 6:40pm<b>redwill85</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 7:55pm<b>LMxDelta38</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 8:03pm<b>chrisseesyou</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 11:09am<b>splashface1</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 7:52pm<b>jaaymurph103</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 1:41pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 8:49am<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 1:01am<b>Sinful1</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 11:16pm<b>kmartFTW</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 11:03pm<b>Jared111</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 10:38pm<b>jb1991</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 10:30pm<b>neo08061972</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 9:57pm<b>Tyrod</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 9:26pm<b>colvindj</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 8:08pm

crystalnight's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of crystalnight's badges

crystalnight's favorite FMLs

Today, campus security called me to let me know a lawnmower crashed into my car. Apparently the guy mowing the lawn lost control. My car wasn't parked by any grass. I need a new bumper. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2011 at 11:53am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2011 at 10:04am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML

by JubileeBee / 09/28/2011 at 6:46am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, after months of telling my parents I was going to live on my own, I finally moved out. Not even 24 hours being out of their house, some reject burned down the apartment complex I live in. Guess who's moving back home. FML

by Foreverathome / 09/28/2011 at 1:17am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

by BigBananaLover / 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went to Walmart to pick up some groceries. When I came out, the front end of my car was crushed in. On the window was a note only saying "Sorry I bumped into your car." FML

by This Guy / 09/26/2011 at 1:18pm / United States / Money

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me a Paul Frank t-shirt. It says "I'm single." FML

by happybirthday / 09/26/2011 at 1:06pm / United Kingdom (London) / Love

Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML

by Yuuucky / 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML

by Oops / 09/26/2011 at 11:35am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Intimacy

Today, out of my bedroom window, I can see my next door neighbour's window. On his ledge, I can see binoculars, tissues and vaseline. FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2011 at 3:22am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I went to run outside, only to smack straight into our sliding glass door. Just a few hours beforehand, my mom put up a strip of colored tape to stop this from happening. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 4:21pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my professor snapped and told me that I know nothing, that everything I've ever learned is wrong, and that all of my former teachers should be shot. FML

by failure / 09/22/2011 at 2:36pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, the shy girl in my class decided to bring a cake to share with everyone, since it was her birthday. Excited about the cake, I got everybody to sing "happy birthday" for her, only to realize too late that nobody in the class know her name, myself included. FML

by mortenp / 09/22/2011 at 12:44am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at work, after reading more than 100 FMLs and moderating more than 500, I decided to write one of my own with the help of my boss, who had been standing next to me for over an hour. "How about being fired?" FML