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crystalnight

Offline (the 04/13/2015 at 6:05am) | Search for a member

crystalnight

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 October 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6974
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About crystalnight : I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite site on the Citadel.

crystalnight's page activity

Visits<b>phamalocity</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 4:18am<b>LonerTheWolf35</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 11:35pm<b>paintbullits</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 6:40pm<b>redwill85</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 7:55pm<b>LMxDelta38</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 8:03pm<b>chrisseesyou</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 11:09am<b>splashface1</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 7:52pm<b>jaaymurph103</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 1:41pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 8:49am<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 1:01am<b>Sinful1</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 11:16pm<b>kmartFTW</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 11:03pm<b>Jared111</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 10:38pm<b>jb1991</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 10:30pm<b>neo08061972</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 9:57pm<b>Tyrod</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 9:26pm<b>colvindj</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 8:08pm<b>Rcmpbell</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 10:49pm

crystalnight's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of crystalnight's badges

crystalnight's favorite FMLs

Today, I showed my boyfriend a calendar, marked with the number of times we've had sex over the past month. Then followed by a calendar of the month before, which had almost triple the number of hits. I had to point out that our stats need to improve. FML

#17901897
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23886) - you deserved it (17147)

On 10/04/2011 at 3:04am - intimacy - by friskeyk14 - United States (California)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Devastated, he withered onto the floor into an inconsolable wreck in front of dozens of people. The ribbon of embarrassment that went down my spine was too much for me to handle, so I had to tell him I was "only joking." FML

#17901380
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13173) - you deserved it (40633)

On 10/04/2011 at 1:22am - love - by backtosquareone - Asia/Pacific Region

Today, after a great treadmill run at my gym, I noticed a stain on my clothing. Apparently my nipple chafed so badly that it bled through my white t-shirt, and I'd walked around the gym completely oblivious. FML

#17898016
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27893) - you deserved it (3544)

On 10/03/2011 at 7:19pm - health - by sorenips - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my 20 year old daughter started ranting to me about her latest boyfriend's erectile problems. Trying to be a good dad, I told her all I knew about how to get the boy fixed. My wife decided to stick her head in and say, "Listen to your dad, hun. He knows all about this kind of thing." FML

#17897207
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31984) - you deserved it (5069)

On 10/03/2011 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML

#17892959
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38126) - you deserved it (4251)

On 10/03/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Kayt (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, on my way to work I swerved to avoid hitting a dead animal. Too bad I ended up hitting a live one instead. FML

#17885184
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29228) - you deserved it (8460)

On 10/02/2011 at 7:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
424 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35692) - you deserved it (9672)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML

#17884262
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32462) - you deserved it (3117)

On 10/02/2011 at 2:36am - misc - by Emmy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized that it has been so long since my wife and I were intimate that I got slightly turned on watching her suck the meat off chicken wings. I'm jealous of fried, sauce-soaked poultry. FML

#17884041
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33472) - you deserved it (4555)

On 10/02/2011 at 2:05am - intimacy - by therevsev - United States

Today, my parents asked me if I would dog-sit for them while they go to my ex's wedding. FML

#17864370
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33580) - you deserved it (2694)

On 09/29/2011 at 4:14pm - misc - by littlepsychgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that due to my anti-depressants, I can no longer orgasm. At. All. Which depresses me more. FML

#17861962
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39691) - you deserved it (4687)

On 09/29/2011 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML

#17859546
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30582) - you deserved it (11404)

On 09/28/2011 at 10:28pm - love - by danthecomplicate - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I cleaned out the fridge for my mother. I didn't throw out a single thing that was less than a month past its expiration. Instead of thanks, she complained about everything that I threw away being still good, including a tub of butter that had been expired for two years. FML

#17858787
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25525) - you deserved it (2303)

On 09/28/2011 at 9:12pm - misc - by AngrySon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML

#17857316
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17548) - you deserved it (52831)

On 09/28/2011 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Hypocrisy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

#17857162
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40711) - you deserved it (2556)

On 09/28/2011 at 5:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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