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crystalnight

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crystalnight
  • Town/Country : Austin, US
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 October 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 3238
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 17 posted

About crystalnight : I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite site on the Citadel.

crystalnight's last visitors

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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crystalnight's favorite FMLs

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Devastated, he withered onto the floor into an inconsolable wreck in front of dozens of people. The ribbon of embarrassment that went down my spine was too much for me to handle, so I had to tell him I was "only joking." FML

#17901380
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11344) - you deserved it (37021)

On 10/04/2011 at 1:22am - love - by backtosquareone - Asia/Pacific Region

Today, after a great treadmill run at my gym, I noticed a stain on my clothing. Apparently my nipple chafed so badly that it bled through my white t-shirt, and I'd walked around the gym completely oblivious. FML

#17898016
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24267) - you deserved it (3178)

On 10/03/2011 at 7:19pm - health - by sorenips - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my 20 year old daughter started ranting to me about her latest boyfriend's erectile problems. Trying to be a good dad, I told her all I knew about how to get the boy fixed. My wife decided to stick her head in and say, "Listen to your dad, hun. He knows all about this kind of thing." FML

#17897207
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28638) - you deserved it (4689)

On 10/03/2011 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML

#17892959
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30735) - you deserved it (3046)

On 10/03/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Kayt (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, on my way to work I swerved to avoid hitting a dead animal. Too bad I ended up hitting a live one instead. FML

#17885184
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22661) - you deserved it (7204)

On 10/02/2011 at 7:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28076) - you deserved it (8451)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML

#17884262
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27425) - you deserved it (2684)

On 10/02/2011 at 2:36am - misc - by Emmy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized that it has been so long since my wife and I were intimate that I got slightly turned on watching her suck the meat off chicken wings. I'm jealous of fried, sauce-soaked poultry. FML

#17884041
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30843) - you deserved it (4308)

On 10/02/2011 at 2:05am - intimacy - by therevsev - United States

Today, my parents asked me if I would dog-sit for them while they go to my ex's wedding. FML

#17864370
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27594) - you deserved it (2238)

On 09/29/2011 at 4:14pm - misc - by littlepsychgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that due to my anti-depressants, I can no longer orgasm. At. All. Which depresses me more. FML

#17861962
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35038) - you deserved it (4236)

On 09/29/2011 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML

#17859546
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27582) - you deserved it (10501)

On 09/28/2011 at 10:28pm - love - by danthecomplicate - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I cleaned out the fridge for my mother. I didn't throw out a single thing that was less than a month past its expiration. Instead of thanks, she complained about everything that I threw away being still good, including a tub of butter that had been expired for two years. FML

#17858787
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18876) - you deserved it (1559)

On 09/28/2011 at 9:12pm - misc - by AngrySon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML

#17857316
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13104) - you deserved it (38111)

On 09/28/2011 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Hypocrisy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, the boy I like came to my house with a dozen roses to ask me to homecoming. My uncle chased him down the street with a pitchfork. FML

#17857162
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32023) - you deserved it (1707)

On 09/28/2011 at 5:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I timed my walk to work perfectly so that I avoided getting sprayed by the rotating sprinklers along the street. As soon as I successfully passed the last sprinkler, a bus sped by me, hit a puddle, and covered me head to toe in muddy water. FML



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