About crystalnight : I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite site on the Citadel.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, I timed my walk to work perfectly so that I avoided getting sprayed by the rotating sprinklers along the street. As soon as I successfully passed the last sprinkler, a bus sped by me, hit a puddle, and covered me head to toe in muddy water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25610) - you deserved it (2248)
On 09/28/2011 at 1:54pm - misc - by Daralea (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, campus security called me to let me know a lawnmower crashed into my car. Apparently the guy mowing the lawn lost control. My car wasn't parked by any grass. I need a new bumper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19232) - you deserved it (1533)
On 09/28/2011 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my mother lectured me about going to the bar too often. She did this while rolling a joint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25232) - you deserved it (4143)
On 09/28/2011 at 10:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21806) - you deserved it (1440)
On 09/28/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by JubileeBee (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, after months of telling my parents I was going to live on my own, I finally moved out. Not even 24 hours being out of their house, some reject burned down the apartment complex I live in. Guess who's moving back home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24344) - you deserved it (1586)
On 09/28/2011 at 1:17am - misc - by Foreverathome - United States (Texas)
Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40244) - you deserved it (3158)
On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16130) - you deserved it (32354)
On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)
Today, I went to Walmart to pick up some groceries. When I came out, the front end of my car was crushed in. On the window was a note only saying "Sorry I bumped into your car." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22577) - you deserved it (1480)
On 09/26/2011 at 1:18pm - money - by This Guy - United States
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me a Paul Frank t-shirt. It says "I'm single." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24563) - you deserved it (1767)
On 09/26/2011 at 1:06pm - love - by happybirthday (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my boyfriend showed me a YouTube video of him popping a huge blackhead on his forehead. He told me he had been "growing" it for more than 2 years now. I have been caressing and kissing that thing for almost 2 years because I thought it was a beauty mark. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25334) - you deserved it (10753)
On 09/26/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by Yuuucky (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30540) - you deserved it (5186)
On 09/26/2011 at 11:35am - intimacy - by Oops (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, out of my bedroom window, I can see my next door neighbour's window. On his ledge, I can see binoculars, tissues and vaseline. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35909) - you deserved it (3191)
On 09/24/2011 at 3:22am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I went to run outside, only to smack straight into our sliding glass door. Just a few hours beforehand, my mom put up a strip of colored tape to stop this from happening. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6881) - you deserved it (22803)
On 09/22/2011 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)
Today, my professor snapped and told me that I know nothing, that everything I've ever learned is wrong, and that all of my former teachers should be shot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21632) - you deserved it (3370)
On 09/22/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by failure (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, the shy girl in my class decided to bring a cake to share with everyone, since it was her birthday. Excited about the cake, I got everybody to sing "happy birthday" for her, only to realize too late that nobody in the class know her name, myself included. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9135) - you deserved it (28467)
On 09/22/2011 at 12:44am - misc - by mortenp - United States (Maryland)
Friday 24 May 2013
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