About crystalnight : I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite site on the Citadel.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, I went for an interview regarding a seasonal position I'd been offered at a grocery store. The manager showed up 45 minutes past the scheduled interview time, cheerfully greeted me, and took me back to his office, just to tell me that they don't hire seasonal help. Ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19860) - you deserved it (1456)
On 05/18/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by ineedayob (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my best friend was throwing me my bachelorette partly. A cop came by and said there have been complaints about the noise. Thinking he was the stripper we ordered, we pulled him into the house. He was an actual cop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34975) - you deserved it (15526)
On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)
Today, as a learner driver, I embarked on my longest drive ever: back home, from Sydney to Melbourne, which is around a 700km drive. I managed to get the whole way without any problems. I crashed into my driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32294) - you deserved it (5015)
On 04/06/2013 at 4:51am - health - by aaaaahhhh (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I told my bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office and received a 3-day suspension for "slandering" my teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29161) - you deserved it (4370)
On 04/04/2013 at 4:07pm - misc - by me (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33500) - you deserved it (7833)
On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, my friend asked me to fix his laptop for him because it is loaded with viruses. When I turned it on and started searching for the problem, I couldn't find it. Luckily I was able to find a video of him banging my girlfriend. We've been together for eight years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56282) - you deserved it (2004)
On 02/04/2013 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by hamandegger (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, someone very close to me came out of the closet. Normally I would fully support them, had we not just gotten married. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30769) - you deserved it (1649)
On 11/27/2012 at 10:08pm - love - by Bliggins - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23623) - you deserved it (2154)
On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25557) - you deserved it (1535)
On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)
Today, I decided to show my friends the picture I drew, picturing the four of us in a zombie apocalypse setting. Turns out they never saw me as their friend and I'm creeping them out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17926) - you deserved it (5441)
On 10/22/2012 at 11:39am - misc - by Nana (woman) - Sweden (Vasterbottens Lan)
Today, my dad asked me to clean the trash on our acreage. I was cleaning around the tree line when I came across a particularly heavy bag. I ran inside to ask my dad for help moving it. He looked inside the bag to see what it could be. It was a human body. Someone had thrown it over our fence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48394) - you deserved it (1782)
On 10/22/2012 at 3:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18835) - you deserved it (4574)
On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States
Today, I went to the surprise birthday party of an ex I still love, though I'm the one who ended things. I walked in in time to see her screaming "Yes" to her kneeling boyfriend, her parents crying and applauding, and her brothers patting him on the back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6978) - you deserved it (32014)
On 10/10/2012 at 4:26am - love - by Toolate (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21663) - you deserved it (4925) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 09/21/2012 at 7:31am - misc - by minibuch1505 - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5527) - you deserved it (13456)
On 09/12/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by brianfantana32 - United States (Washington)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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