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About cryptkeeper : Im pretty cool :))
message me.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was having a bad day at work. Then, on my coffee break, a little boy walked up to me and told me I was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. I'm a boy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24695) - you deserved it (5122)
On 01/31/2011 at 3:01pm - misc - by imsadnow (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, while presenting a project I've worked on for months, one of the professors exasperatedly cut in, mid sentence, saying, "Look, it's shit. Just stop already." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21972) - you deserved it (3041)
On 01/28/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Slovakia (Bratislava)
Today, one week after my girlfriend berated me for not being invested enough in our relationship, I proposed to her. Her answer? "I meant give me an orgasm, not a ring!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23642) - you deserved it (6970)
On 01/24/2011 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Limalia (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, my 70 year old grandma was yelling at me to take a pregnancy test, in the middle of Walmart. I'm 16, still a virgin and haven't had a boyfriend since I was 13. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24950) - you deserved it (2152)
On 01/24/2011 at 12:11am - intimacy - by andifalls -
Today, my girlfriend, who's on a diet, refused to give me a blow job because my sperm would "add useless calories" to her day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28422) - you deserved it (9737)
On 01/22/2011 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21595) - you deserved it (2445) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 11:46am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24780) - you deserved it (4236) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Switzerland - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34088) - you deserved it (2105) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31420) - you deserved it (20278) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34084) - you deserved it (4670)
On 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12833) - you deserved it (44527)
On 01/16/2011 at 5:48am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I hit a deer with a rental car... which I had to rent because I hit a deer with my car last week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18216) - you deserved it (14225)
On 01/15/2011 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I found out my dad has a folder full of baby pictures and things that I drew when I was younger, labeled "Shit from when Annie was cute." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24643) - you deserved it (2480)
On 01/15/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found some nude vintage pictures in my house. I decided to beat my meat to them. Later I found out it was my grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11613) - you deserved it (55373)
On 01/14/2011 at 11:05pm - intimacy - by Gabriel A - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had a rude awakening after a traffic accident the day before. I'd fled the scene to avoid having to pay hefty damage fines. I would have gotten away with it too, if my license plate hadn't fallen off and incriminated me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4429) - you deserved it (71568)
On 01/14/2011 at 2:43pm - money - by calidumbass - United States
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