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cryptkeeper

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cryptkeeper

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 8 December 1987 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1164
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About cryptkeeper : Im pretty cool :))
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cryptkeeper's page activity

Visits<b>subhaan786</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 8:16pm<b>nato556</b> - the 05/04/2012 at 4:24pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:23pm<b>gishbish</b> - the 05/19/2011 at 3:14pm<b>Ninjafriends</b> - the 12/13/2010 at 6:37pm<b>lilauer13</b> - the 11/05/2010 at 4:25pm<b>newzealand</b> - the 11/03/2010 at 9:03am<b>281go</b> - the 07/16/2010 at 5:04pm<b>CLW</b> - the 07/08/2010 at 12:31pm<b>coronaryulcer</b> - the 06/17/2010 at 12:56am<b>jb002873</b> - the 06/16/2010 at 2:05pm<b>chrissybabe</b> - the 06/14/2010 at 10:05pm<b>kattyshea</b> - the 06/08/2010 at 7:00pm<b>WtfLoser</b> - the 06/03/2010 at 7:21am<b>123sploosh</b> - the 06/02/2010 at 8:22pm<b>A83</b> - the 06/02/2010 at 7:38pm<b>RaIeigh</b> - the 06/02/2010 at 1:41am<b>Kay_23</b> - the 05/30/2010 at 3:24pm

cryptkeeper's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

cryptkeeper's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having a bad day at work. Then, on my coffee break, a little boy walked up to me and told me I was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. I'm a boy. FML

#14788536
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32918) - you deserved it (6721)

On 01/31/2011 at 3:01pm - misc - by imsadnow (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while presenting a project I've worked on for months, one of the professors exasperatedly cut in mid-sentence, saying, "Look, it's shit. Just stop already." FML

#14742599
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28310) - you deserved it (4108)

On 01/28/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Slovakia (Bratislava)

Today, one week after my girlfriend berated me for not being invested enough in our relationship, I proposed to her. Her answer? "I meant give me an orgasm, not a ring!" FML

#14699033
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32944) - you deserved it (9407)

On 01/24/2011 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Limalia (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, my 70 year old grandma was yelling at me to take a pregnancy test, in the middle of Walmart. I'm 16, still a virgin and haven't had a boyfriend since I was 13. FML

#14693370
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32488) - you deserved it (3059)

On 01/24/2011 at 12:11am - intimacy - by andifalls -

Today, my girlfriend, who's on a diet, refused to give me a blow job because my sperm would "add useless calories" to her day. FML

#14677100
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36108) - you deserved it (13269)

On 01/22/2011 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML

#14613102
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28146) - you deserved it (3279) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 11:46am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML

#14613104
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33035) - you deserved it (5666) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Switzerland - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML

#14610612
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43950) - you deserved it (2996) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40743) - you deserved it (26828) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

#14604817
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43925) - you deserved it (6330)

On 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML

#14598799
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16199) - you deserved it (62817)

On 01/16/2011 at 5:48am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I hit a deer with a rental car... which I had to rent because I hit a deer with my car last week. FML

#14593479
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24784) - you deserved it (19340)

On 01/15/2011 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out my dad has a folder full of baby pictures and things that I drew when I was younger, labeled "Shit from when Annie was cute." FML

#14587697
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32040) - you deserved it (3451)

On 01/15/2011 at 9:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found some nude vintage pictures in my house. I decided to beat my meat to them. Later I found out it was my grandma. FML

#14583340
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15681) - you deserved it (75426)

On 01/14/2011 at 11:05pm - intimacy - by Gabriel A - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a rude awakening after a traffic accident the day before. I'd fled the scene to avoid having to pay hefty damage fines. I would have gotten away with it too, if my license plate hadn't fallen off and incriminated me. FML

#14578612
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6925) - you deserved it (107129)

On 01/14/2011 at 2:43pm - money - by calidumbass - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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