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critzm

Offline (the 07/27/2015 at 3:05pm) | Search for a member

critzm

1Fucked!

critzmcritzm
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 540
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About critzm : Orlando, FL. Message me

critzm's page activity

Visits<b>hannahlinnea</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 10:27am<b>alisha0215</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 3:43pm<b>skye147</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 2:00am<b>OmgitsJay</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:54pm<b>sappy23</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 3:33am<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:35am<b>onyxkrowe</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 11:56pm<b>atl904</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 11:32pm<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 5:33pm<b>LadyLuck93</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 1:38pm<b>vlalam</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 12:35pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 10:36am<b>MrsJellyBean</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 2:41am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 8:33pm<b>nandybear</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 11:13pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 1:53am<b>michaelf461</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 8:21pm<b>metallica_wins</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 1:03am

Fucked!<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 2:34am

critzm's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of critzm's badges

critzm's favorite FMLs

Today, my bathroom flooded. I frantically cleaned my apartment as fast as I could before the plumber arrived. Everything was finally clean when I let him in. It wasn't until after he finished that I noticed I'd left my anal beads in the shower. There's no way he didn't notice. FML

#20634924
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28545) - you deserved it (55187)

On 05/01/2013 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML

#20632729
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59115) - you deserved it (15519)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by SecondBest,IGuess (woman) - United States

Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML

#20627981
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33756) - you deserved it (69670)

On 04/28/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Saudi Arabia

Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML

#20624343
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65299) - you deserved it (14649)

On 04/27/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML

#20618791
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59672) - you deserved it (4444)

On 04/24/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by awkward O_o - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML

Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML

#20609608
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77978) - you deserved it (7093)

On 04/21/2013 at 6:20am - intimacy - by loving wife - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML

#20596452
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69077) - you deserved it (17942)

On 04/16/2013 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Gurior - Canada

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

#20577693
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54156) - you deserved it (12392)

On 04/06/2013 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by dating walter white's gf apparently (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML

#20570035
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59471) - you deserved it (5982)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by madiison09 - United States

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML

#20562430
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50468) - you deserved it (5757)

On 03/27/2013 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while making love to my boyfriend for the first time, I moaned his name. He freaked out over how I wasn't over my ex, and angrily left. They have the same name. FML

#20555878
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55996) - you deserved it (8148)

On 03/23/2013 at 12:43am - intimacy - by nraecher (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML

#20550602
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49340) - you deserved it (22045)

On 03/19/2013 at 8:31am - intimacy - by fredo (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML

#20550446
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39741) - you deserved it (8563) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/18/2013 at 6:34pm - love - by inconnue - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, while I was going down on my husband, our 3-year-old daughter woke up and started crying from the other room. He practically burst into tears too, whining that she was doing it on purpose to ruin his fun. He was serious. FML

#20544502
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49814) - you deserved it (5679)

On 03/15/2013 at 6:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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