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critzm

Offline (the 05/20/2015 at 3:22pm) | Search for a member

critzm

0Fucked!

critzmcritzm
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 475
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About critzm : Orlando, FL

critzm's page activity

Visits<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:35am<b>michaelf461</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 8:21pm<b>metallica_wins</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 1:03am<b>that_dancer13</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 10:43pm<b>Kyra1</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 10:55pm<b>princesshaleigh</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 10:22pm<b>WubStep_</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 9:47pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:11pm<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:10pm<b>BabyFranco</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 8:56pm<b>acidicthinking</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 1:38am<b>JillianBall</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 10:39pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 3:47pm<b>Miooow</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 8:56pm

critzm's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of critzm's badges

critzm's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML

#20618791
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59616) - you deserved it (4441)

On 04/24/2013 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by awkward O_o - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML

Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML

#20609608
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77885) - you deserved it (7085)

On 04/21/2013 at 6:20am - intimacy - by loving wife - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML

#20596452
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68979) - you deserved it (17921)

On 04/16/2013 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Gurior - Canada

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

#20577693
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54094) - you deserved it (12378)

On 04/06/2013 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by dating walter white's gf apparently (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML

#20570035
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59403) - you deserved it (5982)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by madiison09 - United States

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML

#20562430
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50399) - you deserved it (5752)

On 03/27/2013 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while making love to my boyfriend for the first time, I moaned his name. He freaked out over how I wasn't over my ex, and angrily left. They have the same name. FML

#20555878
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55925) - you deserved it (8145)

On 03/23/2013 at 12:43am - intimacy - by nraecher (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML

#20550602
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49262) - you deserved it (22028)

On 03/19/2013 at 8:31am - intimacy - by fredo (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML

#20550446
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39701) - you deserved it (8553) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/18/2013 at 6:34pm - love - by inconnue - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, while I was going down on my husband, our 3-year-old daughter woke up and started crying from the other room. He practically burst into tears too, whining that she was doing it on purpose to ruin his fun. He was serious. FML

#20544502
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49748) - you deserved it (5675)

On 03/15/2013 at 6:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

#20540243
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33152) - you deserved it (51046) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56094) - you deserved it (14694)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, I decided to come onto my husband to switch things up. When I started kissing and trying to undress him, he pushed me off, saying "What're you doing? Jeopardy's about to start." FML

#20532214
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43771) - you deserved it (6199)

On 03/05/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by married an old man - United States (California)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

#20527203
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64484) - you deserved it (5644)

On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)



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