Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About crimsonlover4 : Hello loves,
I love reading these fmls mainly because they distract me from my own fucked up life and I have hope to have one of my own published some day :}
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML
Today, I get to add spaghetti sauce to my rather extensive list of things that don't belong in a person's eye but that end up in mine anyway. Other items include molten cheese, rock salt, orange juice, chips of nail polish, cotton fibers, and firework ash. FML
Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML
Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML
Friday 19 December 2014