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cricket55

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cricket55
  • Town/Country : You, Know
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 135
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cricket55 : ...

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cricket55's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by throwing my stuff out of his place, and accusing me of cheating while yelling, "Cheater, cheater! Pumpkin eater!" When I tried explaining that I have no clue what he's talking about, he started exclaiming, "Liar, liar! Pants on fire!" FML

#20180296
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20365) - you deserved it (2551)

On 11/26/2012 at 8:41pm - love - by imnotacheateryouimmaturefuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm so broke that I got buyer's remorse after buying a $2 bottle of pancake syrup. FML

#20042959
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17501) - you deserved it (2048)

On 08/26/2012 at 5:05pm - money - by Tanuki_paws - United States (Arizona)

Today, my house got broken into. They just made a mess. I saw a note on the kitchen table that read "There's nothing good here. You have shitty stuff." FML

#20025968
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21173) - you deserved it (2380)

On 08/17/2012 at 3:45am - misc - by Sarah - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

#19606194
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4799) - you deserved it (18702)

On 05/11/2012 at 5:33am - misc - by anamota89 (woman) - United States

Today, I faked my age to win a colouring competition. I just turned 19. FML

#19557146
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7150) - you deserved it (23025)

On 05/01/2012 at 4:24am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11935) - you deserved it (30227)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML

#19247694
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7978) - you deserved it (34418)

On 03/09/2012 at 8:56pm - kids - by mikey51 (man) - Australia

Today, I found out that getting drunk and attempting to take a dump out of a second-story window is a very bad idea. FML

#19069104
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4904) - you deserved it (33109)

On 02/13/2012 at 9:55pm - misc - by michael (man) - United States

Today, my front house window was smashed. A note was left, saying 'I want my cat back'. I have no idea what they are talking about. FML

#18819686
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21370) - you deserved it (1376)

On 01/15/2012 at 11:17pm - misc - by James - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I noticed that my facial hair had grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to my Dad and decided to show him, thinking he would approve of my manliness. His exact words when I showed him were, "Nah, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML

#18439868
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23388) - you deserved it (4808)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML

#18371495
113 comments

Today, I went to the store to pick up some tampons. After waiting in line for about 10 minutes, the male cashier looked at me when I was leaving and said, "Have a nice... week!" FML

#18023767
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27599) - you deserved it (4288)

On 10/19/2011 at 3:36pm - misc - by sarah (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went on a date at a restaurant with a guy. When he promised I wouldn't have to pay the bill, I didn't think he meant we'd be dining and dashing. FML

#17888720
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19930) - you deserved it (2119)

On 10/02/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by scared (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 14-year-old son was terrified of going into the water near our house, because he was scared of having his leg bitten off by a shark. We live by a lake. I tried explaining why it couldn't happen, but he just cowered behind a beach towel. FML

#17463558
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20122) - you deserved it (3121)

On 08/13/2011 at 9:17pm - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, I was walking along a crowded pier when I stopped to read a sign next to an oddly placed bush. Not even two seconds later, a man popped out of the bush and made me wet myself. People were filming it. FML

#17399752
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18759) - you deserved it (3355)

On 08/07/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Polmkk (woman) - United States (California)



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