About crash819 : Hey I'm Ian, I play soccer, like to hang out with friends and consider myself nice the majority of them time.
If you're still reading, I appreciate your interest in my life. However, you're coming close to creeping.
I seriously doubt anyone ever reads this though.
Now you're creeping.
If you're still going look me up on Facebook. (Ian Stowe)
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Today, my husband and I had the grand opening to our new winery. We had a big sign out front saying "FREE GRAPES", to try and get more people interested. People kept giving us dirty looks when passing. We later realized there was something covering the "G". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26968) - you deserved it (7539)
On 04/24/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32928) - you deserved it (21127) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26666) - you deserved it (6854)
On 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by painfulintercourse - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boss fired me because he said I was spending too much time surfing the internet. When I reminded him that my work computer isn't even networked, he said, "Oh, sorry, you're the one who takes too many smoke breaks." When I told him that I don't even smoke, he said, "Just go..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52907) - you deserved it (3125)
On 06/08/2010 at 3:11am - work - by Myzyri (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30412) - you deserved it (2507)
On 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anathema_360 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up with my girl laying next to me in bed. When she woke up we started to get hot and heavy but all of a sudden our cat hops on the bed. I guess the cat was more important cause my girl got up started playing it instead of me. Cockblocked by another pussy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46154) - you deserved it (6115)
On 08/16/2009 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I went to Knott's Berry Farm with my girlfriend. After we got off of Supreme Scream, the ride attendant asked her, "How was it?" She pointed to me and said, "It's like sex with this man, my boyfriend; intense, then disappointing because it only lasts like 30 seconds." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43950) - you deserved it (8461)
On 08/08/2009 at 9:41pm - intimacy - by blank13 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying 'I'm good' or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML
I agree, your life sucks (53152) - you deserved it (21668)
On 05/16/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by UncleRory (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (460496) - you deserved it (572145)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at church and saw a blind teenager who obviously felt lost. Feeling like I should help I went over and asked if he needed anything. He said, "I can't find my caretaker." I asked, "What does she look like?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12048) - you deserved it (54326)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by wideman (man) - United States (California)
Today, everyone at school was talking about some guy that did another girl while he was going out with someone. I started to spread the rumor myself, until someone told me that that guy was my boyfriend. The other girl was my best friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43965) - you deserved it (18245)
On 02/24/2009 at 6:28pm - misc - by LockandKey - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found FML for the first time in class, and literally laughed out loud in the middle of the lecture in front of 200 classmates. Today's lecture? The cruelties of slavery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22431) - you deserved it (20288)
On 02/03/2009 at 5:55pm - work - by kprice6 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16822) - you deserved it (8991)
On 11/14/2008 at 10:27pm - animals - by dooommage - Sent from mobile version
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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