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Offline (the 05/03/2015 at 4:03am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 20 August 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1214
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About crash819 : Hey I'm Ian, I play soccer, like to hang out with friends, play video games, and consider myself nice the majority of the time. If you wanna know anything else just message me I guess.

crash819's page activity

Visits<b>carleybeak</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 4:00pm<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 11:42am<b>Leigghhh</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 1:26pm<b>darlin1999</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 10:33pm<b>Emi1y</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 10:22pm<b>1996sexy</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 10:10pm<b>SilverInGray</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 12:19am<b>Callilah</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 9:55am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 6:35pm<b>stripes97</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 11:20pm<b>iiTzNeeNerz</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 9:01am<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 9:38pm<b>a_cute_girli</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 9:51pm<b>AirbornTable</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 10:15pm<b>OmgitsJay</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 8:22pm<b>ethangoins</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 10:38pm<b>Batgirl124</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 6:43pm<b>SoCalGirlBabyy</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 11:01pm

Fucked!<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 5:43pm

crash819's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of crash819's badges

crash819's favorite FMLs

Today, during an otherwise promising job interview, I was asked how much I thought was too much for a "good hit of blow". I must have stayed speechless for too long, because the guy's next words were, "Yeah, you're not cut out for this." I'm shocked and baffled too. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2013 at 6:49am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

by John / 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML

by Snorlax / 04/13/2013 at 12:25am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

by Lilypad / 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm / Intimacy

Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML

by dormeur / 01/18/2013 at 6:39am / Animals

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

by SamWGovan / 12/09/2012 at 11:57am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to Hollister with my grandmother. She immediately started yelling about the music being too loud, and ordered the staff to "shut the damn thing off". She was yelling at a bunch of mannequins. FML

by time to put you down, gran / 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML

by Janitoro / 11/22/2012 at 8:19pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

by Targeted / 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML

by Anonymous / 09/23/2012 at 7:01am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

by SadDad / 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

by Grauncho / 09/22/2012 at 10:12am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I met a girl I used to make fun of in high school. She was taking my fingerprints after I was arrested. FML

by TheBeautifulOne / 08/23/2012 at 9:42am / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I went to the store. Because we have no car, we had to walk four miles in the 115 fahrenheit weather. It didn't click until we were standing outside the door with a metric shit-tonne of ice-cream, that we'd have to tear ass back home to keep it all from melting. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2012 at 1:09pm / United States / Miscellaneous