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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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crappydays

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crappydays
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 334
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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crappydays's favorite FMLs

Today, I had dinner with my family at a fancy restaurant. They kept commenting about how cold it was and asked the waitress to turn off the air conditioning. When I got home, I realized the embroidered daisies on my undershirt made it look like I have giant protruding nipples. FML

#5243719 (52)

I agree, your life sucks (12818) - you deserved it (3385)

On 09/14/2009 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

#5168083 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (24208) - you deserved it (5214)

On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM entered the room, I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt, agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. FML

#5163835 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (9301) - you deserved it (24894)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was sitting on a park bench with my very elderly grandfather while listening to music at a low volume. Suddenly, he turned to me and said very loudly, " I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD AIDS!" I received strange looks from everyone that day because he mistook my ear buds for a hearing aid. FML

#5150638 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (29691) - you deserved it (2897)

On 09/09/2009 at 4:16pm - health - by Missy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

#5148313 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (109504) - you deserved it (8693)

On 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, at work, I accidentally got ink on my white dress shirt - right by my left nipple. Absentmindedly, I licked my finger and tried rubbing the stain out. When I looked up, the Vice President was staring at me in disbelief. FML

#5110537 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (26923) - you deserved it (4322)

On 09/07/2009 at 6:19pm - work - by CMANIA (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML

#5050946 (89)

I agree, your life sucks (10705) - you deserved it (32129)

On 09/04/2009 at 11:07pm - misc - by flexibleflatulance (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while giving a lecture about gases to a large chemistry class, I went outside to let loose an unusualy loud fart while they took some notes. I came back in only to see 300 students dying of laughter. I had left the wireless mic on. FML

#5033555 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (10050) - you deserved it (29913)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:30am - work - by DrGas (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML

#5002532 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (31257) - you deserved it (12730)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by boytoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while emailing my very young, attractive teacher to ask a question, my hand slipped. Too bad you can't unsend emails that say "Can we meet after school some time? I have some thongs I'd like to discuss with you." FML

#4956234 (157)

I agree, your life sucks (28823) - you deserved it (7646)

On 08/31/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

#4861565 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (47110) - you deserved it (14076)

On 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML

#4679110 (343)

I agree, your life sucks (34982) - you deserved it (98546)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!!" FML

#4630669 (221)

I agree, your life sucks (74619) - you deserved it (4458)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, my wife thought it would be fun to bring in one of her girlfriends for a threesome. Because of the friend, I now know what my wife sounds like when she's having a REAL orgasm. Five years and two kids into our marriage. FML

#4511410 (227)

I agree, your life sucks (40809) - you deserved it (13556)

On 08/13/2009 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by onehundredpercenteffed (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I went to buy a cake for my daughter's birthday. She really loves Twilight, so I decided to get her a vampire-related cake. I wrote down "fangs" as a decoration. The baker thought it said "wangs". My 10 year old daughter's cake has wangs all over it. Her party is tomorrow morning. FML

#4374994 (381)

I agree, your life sucks (33995) - you deserved it (6118)

On 08/08/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by TheCake - United States (Florida)