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craphappened's favorite FMLs
Today, I was forced to look on in utter horror as an old lady backed out of her parking space, kept going well past the turning point, and slammed straight into my car, putting a dent in the front and shattering the headlights. FML
by JFC! / 03/30/2011 at 9:07pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, on my 21st birthday, a relative asked me if I was still engaged to the love of my life. The man I spent several years with, gave my virginity to, moved across the country for, who promised to marry me before my 21st, and who swore he was over his ex for good. No, but thanks for asking. FML
by Anonymous / 03/30/2011 at 7:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, I came home from a week-long vacation, only to find my mother-in-law didn't just dog-sit while I was gone; she moved in, along with all her possessions, and seems to think it's a permanent deal. FML
by Anon_a_mouse / 03/30/2011 at 3:59pm / Reserved / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/30/2011 at 12:37pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/23/2011 at 7:50am / United States / Work
Today, a grasshopper jumped into my car. As my boyfriend swiped at it, the grasshopper jumped onto my chest and into my shirt. Instead of helping me get it out, my boyfriend leaned back and said, "It got to second base faster than I did." FML
by tickyette / 09/14/2010 at 3:27am / United States / Love
Today, I met a new guy at work who would not stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me he was her husband. FML
by lifeguardlechery / 09/14/2010 at 12:15am / United States (Louisiana) / Work
by Username / 09/13/2010 at 7:19pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I was late to a sold out movie in the theater, so I had to shuffle in during the previews in the dark. I sat down in what I thought was the last vacant seat, but I'd really just sat in a small woman's lap. She was not happy. FML
by Anonymous / 09/13/2010 at 4:52pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by jrad / 09/08/2010 at 3:23pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
by Sickie. / 09/02/2010 at 12:03pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML
by coyote / 09/02/2010 at 3:25am / Japan / Health
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- Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are… Today, I woke up to realize that the guy who took my virginity last night also took my flat screen… Today, I was jerking off quietly so my roommates wouldn't hear me. In the middle of it, one of them…