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cr1mson_k1ss's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
cr1mson_k1ss's favorite FMLs
by ashlyn / 08/06/2011 at 1:41am / United States (Michigan) / Love
by en3rg1zer21 / 08/06/2011 at 1:15am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by meach / 08/06/2011 at 12:58am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/05/2011 at 9:47pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
by moonstone15 / 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/05/2011 at 6:57pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Intimacy
Today, my dad nearly had a head-on collision with another car, but I grabbed the wheel at the last second, potentially saving both our lives. He spent the rest of the car trip pissed at me because I'd "interfered" with his driving. FML
by laurlaur / 08/05/2011 at 5:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by Anonymous / 08/05/2011 at 4:25pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 08/05/2011 at 3:06pm / United States / Health
Today, my parents woke me up at 4 am and informed me of their impending divorce. They then woke me up again three hours later and told me "never mind". This same routine happens several times a month. FML
by iloveryanhiga / 08/05/2011 at 5:27am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML
by thehumanshield / 08/05/2011 at 4:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother and aunt got into an argument about who had gotten groped more times in public. I don't know what's more disturbing, that my own mother would brag about getting groped, or that she won the argument, at 34 times. FML
by Anonymous / 08/05/2011 at 3:04am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I went into a crowded store and tried out a blazer. I was thinking to myself how hot I looked in it when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and politely said, "Excuse me sir, that's a ladies' blazer." FML
by Fred / 08/05/2011 at 1:45am / Japan / Miscellaneous
Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML
by Creeped_out_n_stuck / 08/05/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/05/2011 at 12:18am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
- Today, marks the second week straight without sex. Being a newlywed isn't as great as I thought. FML Today, I was on webcam with my boyfriend and absent-mindedly began sucking on a marker. He jokingly… Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it…