This member hasn't filled in their description.
cr1mson_k1ss's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
cr1mson_k1ss's favorite FMLs
by Eddie / 08/07/2011 at 3:43pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Intimacy
by myheart75 / 08/07/2011 at 5:52am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
by Username / 08/07/2011 at 4:08am / Reserved / Intimacy
by ouch / 08/07/2011 at 3:12am / Mexico (Baja California) / Miscellaneous
Today, while watching tv at my mother's house, a tornado warning came across the screen. After being in the dark nasty basement for half an hour, my mom realizes she was watching a recorded show, and that tornado warning was for 2 weeks ago. FML
by cargaljen / 08/07/2011 at 1:29am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to Walmart to get some acne cream. As I approached the register, I looked in my wallet for the money. The cashier saw that I didn't have enough money, and before I could say anything, he goes "Just take it, I've never seen anyone who needs it that much!" FML
by Taylor D / 08/07/2011 at 12:40am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML
by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm / United States / Kids
Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML
by FML! / 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML
by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
by Pinkie / 08/06/2011 at 5:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML
by lostforwords / 08/06/2011 at 3:10pm / Ireland (Tipperary) / Miscellaneous
by pimples / 08/06/2011 at 9:08am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by plantfood / 08/06/2011 at 2:35am / United States / Intimacy
by - Moved Across the Country / 08/06/2011 at 2:05am / United States (California) / Work
by nomorecookies / 08/06/2011 at 1:53am / United States (Missouri) / Transportation
- Today, I had to get out of bed at 2am to go tell my parrot to stop playing with his bell. I covered… Today, my brother is home from school, for the 7th time in 3 weeks, due to another 'stomach ache'… Today, I found out that my nausea is caused by the medication I have to take. The medication I have…
- Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the…