Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cr1mson_k1ss

Offline (the 02/11/2014 at 5:45pm) | Search for a member

cr1mson_k1ss

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 6 November 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 22483
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

cr1mson_k1ss's page activity

Visits<b>rwfrog</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 1:32pm<b>silverstream20</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 12:03am<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 11:09am<b>k4m1k4z3</b> - the 06/23/2013 at 2:09pm<b>fat_snooki_lol</b> - the 06/12/2013 at 9:13am<b>darkmatter491</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 8:53pm<b>yayuhh</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 1:32am<b>SelenaMilkshake</b> - the 04/20/2013 at 4:25pm<b>Offspring</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 12:01pm<b>Empleh</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 3:17am<b>shorty6823</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 12:54am<b>xXlLaMaXx</b> - the 12/21/2012 at 12:15pm<b>munzapoppa</b> - the 07/28/2012 at 5:17pm<b>chrisiffer</b> - the 07/19/2012 at 11:18am<b>Trollx</b> - the 07/01/2012 at 10:53am<b>rallets</b> - the 06/30/2012 at 11:56am<b>The_Tool1</b> - the 06/27/2012 at 1:47am<b>Zanethepain</b> - the 05/04/2012 at 10:18pm

cr1mson_k1ss's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of cr1mson_k1ss's badges

cr1mson_k1ss's favorite FMLs

Today, I held an open house. Not wanting anything to be stolen I loaded up all valuables in my car (money, prescriptions, computer, iPod, etc) and went out. My car got stolen. Nobody came to the open house. FML

#17416738
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32907) - you deserved it (11144)

On 08/09/2011 at 8:55am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at work in a liquor store, a man came in to demand a refund because after he "drank the whole bottle of Jack" he "couldn't get it up" for his wife. He thought that alcohol was supposed to be an aphrodisiac, and blamed me personally for his "whiskey dick". FML

#17415009
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31042) - you deserved it (2672)

On 08/09/2011 at 2:24am - intimacy - by OyGeeze28 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally noticed that my wife only shaves her bush when she goes on "business trips." FML

#17414090
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54532) - you deserved it (4587)

On 08/09/2011 at 12:59am - intimacy - by ksmith - United States (Ohio)

Today, I learned that if you stare down an attractive man while pumping gas, he'll stare back. Then he might ask for your number. At which point his girlfriend will get out of the car and threaten to kick your ass. FML

#17413656
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26213) - you deserved it (11267)

On 08/09/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by **(: - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was getting my picture taken. The woman taking it told me to smile, so I did, showing my teeth. She said, "Please, be serious about this." Slightly offended, I smiled with my mouth closed. She then said, "If you can't be serious, we won't do this." FML

#17413633
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29872) - you deserved it (2709)

On 08/09/2011 at 12:01am - misc - by wow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that if I work out, I can't get an erection, but if I don't work out, my penis functions fine. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't a professional bodybuilder. FML

#17410758
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30975) - you deserved it (12136)

On 08/08/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I went to my favorite all you can eat buffet. The cook tapped my shoulder and told me to stop eating. FML

#17410703
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26089) - you deserved it (14196)

On 08/08/2011 at 7:58pm - health - by Kathryn - United States (New York)

Today, while walking in the city with my little sister, she let go of my hand. Not wanting to lose her, I quickly tried to grab it back. That resulted in me grabbing some 50 year old man's junk. FML

#17408229
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34852) - you deserved it (5879)

On 08/08/2011 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by Sharee K. - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML

#17404409
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52379) - you deserved it (3498)

On 08/08/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my new friend and I went out to a concert. When we came back to her house, she ran upstairs and left me alone. Suddenly, a naked man came into my view and I stared at him horrified. Great way to meet her Dad. FML

#17404352
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26555) - you deserved it (2293)

On 08/08/2011 at 3:10am - misc - by noooo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one of his friends for half a packet of gum. Now there is someone out there who I have never met with full access to my house. My son is 16. FML

#17404140
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32381) - you deserved it (4757)

On 08/08/2011 at 2:45am - kids - by Jilly (woman) - Australia

Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML

#17403916
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36850) - you deserved it (6673)

On 08/08/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by ApparentDrugAddict (woman) - United States

Today, some cops came to my house saying that the neighbors thought the party I was having was too loud and obnoxious. It was my grandmother's 86 birthday party. FML

#17400862
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26910) - you deserved it (2489)

On 08/07/2011 at 9:49pm - misc - by Paul - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was walking along a crowded pier when I stopped to read a sign next to an oddly placed bush. Not even two seconds later, a man popped out of the bush and made me wet myself. People were filming it. FML

#17399752
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23433) - you deserved it (4564)

On 08/07/2011 at 7:19pm - misc - by Polmkk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife and I almost got a divorce over a game of Yahtzee. FML

#17398977
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26023) - you deserved it (14707)

On 08/07/2011 at 5:44pm - love - by Username - United States



FML's blog

  • AD_e's Illustrated FML
  • Hi gang ! It's Friday once more and time for us to go on a magical mystery tour around the brain of yet another illustrator. This week, things have happened around the world that were so depressing, I don't…

Monday 18 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: