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cr1mson_k1ss's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
cr1mson_k1ss's favorite FMLs
Today, I held an open house. Not wanting anything to be stolen I loaded up all valuables in my car (money, prescriptions, computer, iPod, etc) and went out. My car got stolen. Nobody came to the open house. FML
by Anonymous / 08/09/2011 at 8:55am / United States / Money
Today, at work in a liquor store, a man came in to demand a refund because after he "drank the whole bottle of Jack" he "couldn't get it up" for his wife. He thought that alcohol was supposed to be an aphrodisiac, and blamed me personally for his "whiskey dick". FML
by OyGeeze28 / 08/09/2011 at 2:24am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by ksmith / 08/09/2011 at 12:59am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I learned that if you stare down an attractive man while pumping gas, he'll stare back. Then he might ask for your number. At which point his girlfriend will get out of the car and threaten to kick your ass. FML
by **(: / 08/09/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was getting my picture taken. The woman taking it told me to smile, so I did, showing my teeth. She said, "Please, be serious about this." Slightly offended, I smiled with my mouth closed. She then said, "If you can't be serious, we won't do this." FML
by wow / 08/09/2011 at 12:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 08/08/2011 at 8:03pm / United States / Intimacy
by Kathryn / 08/08/2011 at 7:58pm / United States (New York) / Health
by Sharee K. / 08/08/2011 at 3:20pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/08/2011 at 3:16am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, my new friend and I went out to a concert. When we came back to her house, she ran upstairs and left me alone. Suddenly, a naked man came into my view and I stared at him horrified. Great way to meet her Dad. FML
by noooo / 08/08/2011 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that my son had sold his house key to one of his friends for half a packet of gum. Now there is someone out there who I have never met with full access to my house. My son is 16. FML
by Jilly / 08/08/2011 at 2:45am / Australia / Kids
by ApparentDrugAddict / 08/08/2011 at 2:23am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Paul / 08/07/2011 at 9:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking along a crowded pier when I stopped to read a sign next to an oddly placed bush. Not even two seconds later, a man popped out of the bush and made me wet myself. People were filming it. FML
by Polmkk / 08/07/2011 at 7:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Username / 08/07/2011 at 5:44pm / United States / Love
- 1Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 2Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…