Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cr1mson_k1ss

Search for a member

cr1mson_k1ss
  • Town/Country : Johannesburg, South Africa
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 6 November 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 18699
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

cr1mson_k1ss's last visitors

silverstream20jonnyscashk4m1k4z3fat_snooki_lolyayuhhSelenaMilkshakeOffspringxXlLaMaXxmunzapoppa

cr1mson_k1ss's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of cr1mson_k1ss's badges

cr1mson_k1ss's favorite FMLs

Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML

#404
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24523) - you deserved it (5215)

On 11/28/2008 at 1:30am - intimacy - by clash - Sent from mobile version

Today, I heard my next door neighbour screaming as if someone was trying to slice her throat. Her window was open. Intrigued, I went onto my balcony and asked if everything was okay, and if she needed anything. She and her boyfriend shout back in unison: "We're F*ing, go away". FML

#398
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32248) - you deserved it (7055)

On 11/27/2008 at 3:52am - intimacy - by ehbe - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was performing the classic 69 position with my girlfriend. I wasn't able to control it : I farted right into her nose. FML

#391
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41068) - you deserved it (22514)

On 11/25/2008 at 11:43pm - intimacy - by USSEYL - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I was looking for a magazine in my mother's bedside cabinet and I came across some daft test about sex. Apparently, my mother likes anal, oral, and my dad's cock is bent. Nauseous. FML

#386
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32098) - you deserved it (6931)

On 11/25/2008 at 3:54am - intimacy - by mael - Sent from mobile version

Today, in one of the corridors at university, I was pretending to have passionate sex with one of my lecturers to make my mates laugh. She happened to walk by just at that moment. She reminded me when my next exam is; she will be marking me. FML

#385
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5549) - you deserved it (26411)

On 11/25/2008 at 1:54am - intimacy - by TomPom - Sent from mobile version

Today, we had the (great?) idea of having sex on a bean bag before my roomate got back home. Result: thousands of small polystyrene balls all over the living room. And no, they can't be picked up in 30 minutes. FML

#383
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11314) - you deserved it (28263)

On 11/24/2008 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by William - Sent from mobile version

Today, my neighbor turned down his loud music that he's been playing for months, only to turn on a porn movie at maximum volume. FML

#378
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32406) - you deserved it (2293)

On 11/23/2008 at 9:56pm - intimacy - by ptiluinthesky - Sent from mobile version

Today, whilst chatting with my mum on MSN, she unintentionally sent me an animated emoticon of a penis jerking off repeatedly. I don't even want to know the type of conversation she was having. FML

#375
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34338) - you deserved it (2134)

On 11/23/2008 at 4:24am - intimacy - by Dina - Sent from mobile version

Today, whilst doing it with my girlfriend she goes :"are you done any time soon?" FML

#367
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27914) - you deserved it (5577)

On 11/22/2008 at 7:24am - intimacy - by KaRaSu - Sent from mobile version

Today, after a tremendously hot night with a guy I met the night before, I ask him his phone number. To which he replied: "What for?" FML

#363
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29624) - you deserved it (8568)

On 11/22/2008 at 3:17am - intimacy - by izoliv - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend came home with new condoms: Manix Endurance containing a numbing gel designed to help me "last longer". FML

#359
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31203) - you deserved it (9100)

On 11/21/2008 at 11:03pm - intimacy - by CoCo - Sent from mobile version

Today, my 14-year-old little sister asked me how I felt when I had my first sexual intercourse. I told her it was personal and was none of her business. She then looked at me and said "I thought it was nice". I'm 19 and I'm still a virgin. FML

#353
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42761) - you deserved it (5157)

On 11/21/2008 at 2:23am - intimacy - by KoNi - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was finally able to get to know a girl at university who I'd been eyeing up for months. We had a nice conversation. We discovered that we live in the same area, and so we talked about that. I told her that the little restaurant under my house was really disgusting. Her parents own it. FML

#352
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22254) - you deserved it (8014)

On 11/21/2008 at 12:40am - misc - by lpilou - Sent from mobile version

Today, when I woke up, my husband was already up. Thinking I hear him in the hall I shout out "come on, don't be shy, bring that cock in here right now!". A voice replies: "he's gone out to get some bread". It was my mother-in-law. FML

#351
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33429) - you deserved it (11130)

On 11/20/2008 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by Tinker-Bell - Sent from mobile version

Today, after making love to my girlfriend, I realised that the phone was on the bed and because of the movements, it called my dad by itself. It went to voicemail. My dad will soon have all the details. FML

#346
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31331) - you deserved it (7787)

On 11/20/2008 at 5:19am - intimacy - by Maxime - Sent from mobile version



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: