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cr1mson_k1ss

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cr1mson_k1ss
  • Town/Country : Johannesburg, South Africa
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 5 November 1992 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 12500
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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cr1mson_k1ss's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML

#17446772
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29291) - you deserved it (5341)

On 08/12/2011 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Pissedoff777 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I finally figured out why my mechanic was so cheap; he wanted to sleep with me. After I politely declined, he charged me regular price plus extra for "humiliating" him. He's 60. I just recently turned 18. FML

#17444055
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30332) - you deserved it (2017)

On 08/11/2011 at 8:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I informed my family of my plans to divorce my wife after catching her cheating on me twice. They bitched me out because I will not be able to survive financially or emotionally without her support. I'm a doctor. She's been unemployed for 2 straight years. FML

#17444027
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30577) - you deserved it (1584)

On 08/11/2011 at 8:46pm - love - by Matt - United States (Ohio)

Today, after coming back from deployment, I found a homeless guy had broken into my house and made it his home for the last 5 months. FML

#17443433
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29689) - you deserved it (1624)

On 08/11/2011 at 7:38pm - work - by Username - United States

Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if the crazy drunken party he and my mom had nine months prior to my birth counted. FML

#17441742
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16650) - you deserved it (3307)

On 08/11/2011 at 4:11pm - misc - by Michael tee - United States (Colorado)

Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML

#17439919
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9999) - you deserved it (23296)

On 08/11/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by bathroomgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML

#17438897
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39624) - you deserved it (3639)

On 08/11/2011 at 8:56am - intimacy - by bob - United States (Texas)

Today, was the first day of my sophomore year. While receiving my schedule, I burst into tears at the sight of a disfigured midget. I'm now seen as the school bitch for making fun of a midget. I have a genuine fear of midgets. FML

Today, I bought a $300 gym membership that gives me access to the company's non-premium gyms. The non-premium gyms are all closed due to construction, because they're being turned into premium gyms. FML

#17437930
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22858) - you deserved it (5151)

On 08/11/2011 at 4:17am - money - by juanjohnfml - United States (California)

Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead. FML

#17436824
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9410) - you deserved it (36937)

On 08/11/2011 at 1:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I was camping with my family, and had to share a tent with my 13 year old brother. During the night he had to pee, but instead of going outside to use the bathroom, he zipped open a section of the tent, stuck his knob through it, and peed all over my shoes that were drying outside. FML

#17431437
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22760) - you deserved it (1888)

On 08/10/2011 at 5:37pm - misc - by jakethed0g (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I was preparing food in the microwave. I hadn't noticed that a fly had flown in until I noticed its melted corpse engraved into my hot-pocket. FML

#17429478
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23372) - you deserved it (3992)

On 08/10/2011 at 1:47pm - animals - by Ser17 - United States

Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML

#17429477
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28000) - you deserved it (4855)

On 08/10/2011 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by noway - Singapore

Today, my aunt had to smuggle me some regular toothpaste. Why? My mom isn't letting anyone in our house use anything but "Coral Paste." There are actually lumps of coral in it. FML

#17429124
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29524) - you deserved it (2117)

On 08/10/2011 at 1:00pm - health - by teeth (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was arguing with a friend over whether or not I'm fat. She kept telling me that I was. Angry, I sat down on the chair beside her. It broke. FML

#17428761
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22230) - you deserved it (15545)

On 08/10/2011 at 12:12pm - misc - by elvisfreak5446 - United States (Illinois)



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