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cr1mson_k1ss's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
cr1mson_k1ss's favorite FMLs
Today, I was on the bus when a really cute guy came on. The only seat left was the one next to me, so I smiled and waited for him to sit down. He looked at the seat, looked at me, and opted to stand until his stop. FML
by ouch / 08/12/2011 at 4:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Transportation
Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML
by Coldsnap / 08/12/2011 at 1:25pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous
by James / 08/12/2011 at 3:54am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend found out that if guys eat fruit often, their sperm will taste better. He bought a can of fruit for himself to eat, and said that he bought it just for me. This is the most romantic thing he's ever done. FML
by Pissedoff777 / 08/12/2011 at 1:33am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, I finally figured out why my mechanic was so cheap; he wanted to sleep with me. After I politely declined, he charged me regular price plus extra for "humiliating" him. He's 60. I just recently turned 18. FML
by Anonymous / 08/11/2011 at 8:49pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I informed my family of my plans to divorce my wife after catching her cheating on me twice. They bitched me out because I will not be able to survive financially or emotionally without her support. I'm a doctor. She's been unemployed for 2 straight years. FML
by Matt / 08/11/2011 at 8:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Username / 08/11/2011 at 7:38pm / United States / Work
by Michael tee / 08/11/2011 at 4:11pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML
by bathroomgirl / 08/11/2011 at 12:09pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by bob / 08/11/2011 at 8:56am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, was the first day of my sophomore year. While receiving my schedule, I burst into tears at the sight of a disfigured midget. I'm now seen as the school bitch for making fun of a midget. I have a genuine fear of midgets. FML
by maryrain / 08/11/2011 at 5:35am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I bought a $300 gym membership that gives me access to the company's non-premium gyms. The non-premium gyms are all closed due to construction, because they're being turned into premium gyms. FML
by juanjohnfml / 08/11/2011 at 4:17am / United States (California) / Money
by Anonymous / 08/11/2011 at 1:53am / Mexico (Distrito Federal) / Intimacy
Today, I was camping with my family, and had to share a tent with my 13 year old brother. During the night he had to pee, but instead of going outside to use the bathroom, he zipped open a section of the tent, stuck his knob through it, and peed all over my shoes that were drying outside. FML
by jakethed0g / 08/10/2011 at 5:37pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Holidays
by Ser17 / 08/10/2011 at 1:47pm / United States / Animals
- Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus… Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long… Today, returning home, I found my roommate trying one of my bras. When he saw my shocked face, the…