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cr1mson_k1ss's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
cr1mson_k1ss's favorite FMLs
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 / 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss stopped mid-walk during a conversation about the humidity in our office, after I told him I didn't like the air conditioner on, because I'd rather not be cold and wet, and that I liked it warm and sticky. I knew then he was no longer thinking about the AC. FML
by Anonymous / 08/17/2011 at 9:00am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, I came home from work tired and horny, and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go make love. While all she had done all day is lay on the couch and watch television, she said, "I'm too tired, why don't you just go into the bathroom and grab a quick wank." FML
by Frank / 08/17/2011 at 2:50am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by CashChamp20 / 08/17/2011 at 2:19am / United States / Love
by busybuzzybee / 08/16/2011 at 8:31pm / United States (California) / Animals
by Out of Shape / 08/16/2011 at 6:09pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Health
Today, my parents heard me leaving my room at 2 am, and freaked out because they thought I was sneaking out. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I was getting food instead of having a social life. FML
by Michelle / 08/15/2011 at 4:15am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, our cleaning lady's son came to our house claiming that his mother had died of a heart attack. We gave him her entire month's salary as well as some extra money. A few hours later, our cleaning lady turned up for work. Turns out she doesn't have a son. FML
by duped / 08/15/2011 at 1:45am / Pakistan (Punjab) / Money
Today, I was at the airport to pick up my mother since my baby is due soon. As she arrived, I smiled wide and opened my arms for a hug, but she walked right by me. Apparently, being pregnant makes me unrecognizable. My husband and I had to tell it her was me, her own daughter. FML
by Motherly Love / 08/14/2011 at 6:34am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Travolta / 08/14/2011 at 12:50am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by badass / 08/13/2011 at 3:25am / United States / Love
by anonymous / 08/13/2011 at 2:58am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy
by bTOhno / 08/13/2011 at 2:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
by sydneybourgeois / 08/13/2011 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML
by -_- / 08/12/2011 at 8:05pm / United States / Intimacy
- Today, my wife thought it would be fun to bring in one of her girlfriends for a threesome. Because… Today, my doctor told me I have tennis elbow in both arms. I don't play tennis, I just have way too… Today, I was showing off my sexy new lingerie set to my boyfriend. While we were getting frisky, he…