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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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cr1mson_k1ss

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cr1mson_k1ss
  • Town/Country : Johannesburg, South Africa
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 6 November 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 4956
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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cr1mson_k1ss's favorite FMLs

Today, during my boyfriend's family reunion, I started my period but didn't have any tampons. I asked my boyfriend to ask his mom if she had any. I sat on the toilet waiting, then heard him loudly ask his whole family "Does anybody have a tampon my girlfriend can have?" FML

#18343392 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (9634) - you deserved it (1181)

On 11/25/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by Jessie - United States

Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML

#18342108 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (8792) - you deserved it (641)

On 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm - misc - by hannahlorraine - United States

Today, I tried to buy a bottle of wine from the supermarket. The scrawny, acne-ridden kid at the checkout asked to see my ID. I didn't have any on me, since I'm 37 years old and didn't expect to be asked stupid questions. I complained to his manager, only to be asked to leave. FML

#18338380 (429)

I agree, your life sucks (9155) - you deserved it (31030)

On 11/24/2011 at 3:19pm - misc - by Andrew - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

#18334722 (267)

I agree, your life sucks (20883) - you deserved it (2438)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:35am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, things were getting heated with my girlfriend, so I tried taking her shirt off. Slapping my hands away, she said, "I was only dating you to get my self-confidence up, I'm good now." FML

#18333662 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (13597) - you deserved it (1072)

On 11/24/2011 at 1:52am - intimacy - by Badab1ng - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend used a laser pointer to show me where I needed to lose weight. FML

#18329759 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (22594) - you deserved it (3646)

On 11/23/2011 at 6:54pm - health - by chunkymonkey (woman) -

Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML

#18067303 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (14205) - you deserved it (948)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by KaySchrages92 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595 (410)

I agree, your life sucks (26300) - you deserved it (3154)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was at the book store when a book caught my eye: Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies. I wanted to look through the book but I was too nervous to pick it up, thinking everyone in the store would look at me. FML

#17698757 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (9688) - you deserved it (1683)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:01pm - health - by Mack - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to court expecting to walk out a free man. Turns out my misdemeanor offense couldn't compare to the crime I committed when I walked into the court house with a switchblade tucked into my shoe. FML

#17500518 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (5469) - you deserved it (65765)

On 08/17/2011 at 2:27pm - misc - by Tom - United States (Texas)

Today, I was camping out under the stars on my trampoline. I was just about asleep when I felt a tickle on my arm. Figuring it was an ant, I brushed it off. The rest of the red ants crawling up my arm didn't like that. FML

#17500092 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (22526) - you deserved it (2930)

On 08/17/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by santasadiekins - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a flat tire in the middle of nowhere. I called AAA, and they said it would take 2 hours to get there. They called 2 hours later saying they got a flat tire and would be there in another 2 hours. FML

#17499857 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (29290) - you deserved it (1848)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

#17499822 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (25757) - you deserved it (4659)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - United States

Today, my boss stopped mid-walk during a conversation about the humidity in our office, after I told him I didn't like the air conditioner on, because I'd rather not be cold and wet, and that I liked it warm and sticky. I knew then he was no longer thinking about the AC. FML

#17498648 (222)

I agree, your life sucks (8424) - you deserved it (20975)

On 08/17/2011 at 9:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came home from work tired and horny, and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go make love. While all she had done all day is lay on the couch and watch television, she said, "I'm too tired, why don't you just go into the bathroom and grab a quick wank." FML

#17497068 (266)

I agree, your life sucks (24380) - you deserved it (3749)

On 08/17/2011 at 2:50am - intimacy - by Frank (man) - United States (California)