cptverderosa

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cptverderosa

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 June 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 597
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cptverderosa : I never know what to type here

cptverderosa's page activity

Visits<b>tyoung94</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 7:05pm<b>thatsabiggun</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 3:53pm<b>ashkwalliy</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 9:06pm<b>Tezoma</b> - the 03/08/2014 at 12:01pm<b>datfacedoe</b> - the 03/07/2014 at 3:43am<b>stevothedevo</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 9:15am<b>minnesotaviking</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 8:48pm<b>lordofthepubes</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 5:31pm<b>sabiyah</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 11:20am<b>falconjade</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 4:32am<b>epiccapone93</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 10:06pm<b>suslord</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 2:36pm<b>zawesomee</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 12:24pm<b>Mynameislinh</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 11:31pm<b>AlaskaGabrielle</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 7:30pm<b>cucumber10</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 5:00pm<b>kilullu</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 2:20pm<b>Trinity_obeey</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 11:02am

cptverderosa's FML badges

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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cptverderosa's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

by needsnewshorts / 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

by John / 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm / Belgium / Animals

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

by lsababy / 06/11/2013 at 2:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my friend told me he had just robbed a bank and needed a place to hide. Thinking he was joking, I let him in so we could hang out. 15 minutes later, the cops storm into my apartment. Now I'm an accomplice in a crime I thought was a joke. FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2013 at 11:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:10am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 5:22am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

by southernluxe / 09/04/2011 at 5:36am / United States / Intimacy

Today, while standing in line at the video store, I happen to notice a very hot young girl on the TV screen, and mentioned to my friend that I'd "hit that." I was immediately punched by the girl in front of me. Seems the hot girl on TV was her on a security monitor. FML

by helpless_soul / 08/29/2011 at 12:27am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML

by cjay2200 / 08/28/2011 at 5:25pm / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Kids

Today, while cleaning the bathroom in a suite at the hotel I work at, I heard a couple come in, and then a marriage proposal. She said no, that she had been seeing someone else and left the room. I was then alone in the bathroom, listening to a grown man sob. FML

by smurfpoo / 08/09/2011 at 3:35am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML

by Eddie / 08/07/2011 at 3:43pm / Israel (HaMerkaz) / Intimacy