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cosmolatte

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cosmolatte
  • Town/Country : Baltimore, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 11 May 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 4552
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cosmolatte : I like stuff. :|

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cosmolatte's favorite FMLs

Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML

#3484293
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48124) - you deserved it (21624)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML

#3386815
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93882) - you deserved it (5210)

On 07/01/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by kewlio45 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was teaching swimming. A small boy said his stomach hurt, so I placed him on my back and carried him to the main building where he could lay down. He then jumped off my back and ran back towards the beach because 'he felt better'. I had explosive diarrhea all over my back. FML

#3375297
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54245) - you deserved it (4057)

On 06/30/2009 at 7:26pm - kids - by unluckycounsellor (woman) - Bermuda (Hamilton)

Today, I was sitting at the park with a friend when a small child approached us. Just as moved off the bridge to let the kid play, he asked if I would like to play the troll under the bridge. I laughed and said no thanks, to which the kid responded 'but there is nobody else ugly enough.' FML

#3285415
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44391) - you deserved it (3642)

On 06/27/2009 at 9:00pm - kids - by failure (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I was at the mall with some friends. In the food court we passed by this creepy pervert feeling up a woman. I take a closer look and realize with horror that the guy is my dad in sunglasses and a hat. The lady he was with was not my mom. FML

#2984635
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73027) - you deserved it (2600)

On 06/18/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by traumatized (woman) - United States

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML

#2932416
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65324) - you deserved it (4228)

On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom and I rented a hotel room. She decided to go to bed, while I watched MythBusters. Apparently, my mom got hot while she slept. She threw the covers off of herself and pulled up her night-gown. I turned to find out that my mother does not wear underwear when she sleeps. FML

#2905430
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50366) - you deserved it (3371)

On 06/15/2009 at 3:45am - misc - by ZAS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, as a prank, my friends put a big bucket of water on my door so that it would spill on me as I exited my room. It would have been funny if I hadn't been holding my $900 laptop as I was walking out. FML

#2887279
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50812) - you deserved it (2400)

On 06/14/2009 at 3:14pm - work - by Dominic (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, was my senior prom. I've had a crush on my date for months, but after many attempts at grinding with him and sexy seduction, he rejected me saying he was a good Catholic boy. I later found out that not only is he in touch with his religion, but intimately in touch with other boys. FML

#2871893
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41587) - you deserved it (5876)

On 06/13/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by failatboys (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML

#2855395
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77005) - you deserved it (3480)

On 06/13/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by Toothy_Peg (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML

#2850957
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61440) - you deserved it (3895)

On 06/13/2009 at 2:40am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was cleaning out my fiancé's room while he was away so we could move into our new home. Not only did I find a few gay nudie mags, but also some interesting love letters from a nice man named Pablo. Apparently I need to do a lot more than cleaning his room to excite him. Like grow a penis. FML

#2839886
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59840) - you deserved it (4009)

On 06/12/2009 at 8:10pm - love - by vickyxanne (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my band had a show. We played a love song, and during the bridge, I ask out a friend of mine who was in the crowd, over the mic, in front of at least 200 people. She said no. FML

#2834470
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45153) - you deserved it (18080)

On 06/12/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by Guitar-ZERO - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I woke up feeling like shit after I had spent the whole night taking care of my sick boyfriend. He got up early, feeling great, bouncing around the house. When I finally got up I told him I didn't feel well and he yelled at me for being a bitch in the morning that slows him down. FML

#2833526
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59391) - you deserved it (4521)

On 06/12/2009 at 4:04pm - love - by adderallgirl (woman) - United States (Texas)



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