About cornyrob : Viderunt omnes.
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cornyrob's favorite FMLs
Today, I finally got my screaming, teething, 1-year-old daughter down for a nap to hopefully get some work done. The second I opened my laptop, FedEx dropped off a package and rang the doorbell. My dog went nuts. Then my neighbor rang the doorbell to let me know I had a package. My daughter's awake now. FML
by ryzzostar / 05/25/2016 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by boipucci / 04/21/2016 at 9:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by only child says fuck you mom / 04/10/2016 at 10:56am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/10/2016 at 7:41am / United States (New York) / Health
by dudster25 / 04/10/2016 at 12:20am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was hiding Easter eggs around the house when my 7-year-old triplets woke up from their nap and saw me. They quickly realized that I am the Easter Bunny, and then they guessed that I am Santa. Now I have 3 crying second graders. FML
by Anonymous / 03/27/2016 at 5:05pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/24/2016 at 11:23am / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I parked my car in the company lot and walked down the street to a mandatory company training. While I was at the training, everyone back at the office decided to leave early and locked the company lot. My car is now stuck there for the night and I'm walking home. FML
by Anonymous / 03/21/2016 at 5:26pm / United States (New York) / Transportation
Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML
by Jake Leiter / 03/20/2016 at 2:12pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Work
Today, my mom yelled at me for going through her closet for some warmer clothes. She had a rant about taking her clothes without her permission, all while wearing a pair of my boots and one of my sweaters. FML
by Thanksmom / 03/18/2016 at 2:23am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had sex with a guy I really had a connection with. It went perfect until I complimented how his moans during sex turn me on a lot, and he responded with, "That's what my mom told me." I laughed so hard we couldn't go on. FML
by UnicornWaffles / 03/16/2016 at 1:23pm / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Intimacy
Today, after returning to work from a week-long sickness, I sent out an apologetic email to all of my clients to explain my lack of communication due to absence. I realised afterwards I had put the subject line as 'Absense'. And sent it to all of my clients. FML
by absense / 03/16/2016 at 3:43am / United Kingdom / Work
Today, I have watched the Elmo's World episode featuring balls ten times in a row. The toddler I'm watching screams if I put on something different. His mom just said she was stuck in traffic. She should be back in about five and a half more replays. FML
by help me / 03/15/2016 at 9:05pm / United States (California) / Kids
by well damn / 02/29/2016 at 5:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by anonymous / 02/25/2016 at 4:55pm / United States / Health