About cornyrob : Viderunt omnes.
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cornyrob's favorite FMLs
by nicetoknow / 09/26/2016 at 8:57am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by NoJob / 09/24/2016 at 2:41am / United Kingdom (Redcar and Cleveland) / Work
Today, I bought a friendship bracelet. I'm not sure what's sadder, the fact that I don't actually have a friend to give the other half to, or that I'm actually wearing one of them so it looks like I have friends. FML
by very very lonely / 09/24/2016 at 12:18am / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife announced she had a sexy surprise for me. Turns out she got a Brazilian wax, which is a huge turn-off for me. Not only could I not get it up, I got to hear all about how much her last boyfriend loved it. FML.
by HairToStay / 09/19/2016 at 12:04pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by bish_wut / 09/10/2016 at 4:15pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by I'm out / 09/06/2016 at 1:02pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
Today, after months of eating lunch with my best friend, going to Barnes and Noble, and having to poop while I was there, I realized I've trained myself to have to poop every single time I step into a Barnes and Noble. FML
by nes0385 / 08/27/2016 at 12:06pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by MrLonelyHertz / 08/24/2016 at 7:41pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was volunteering at a neighborhood house tutoring a bunch of kids. Everything was going fine until one of them jumped on the table I was at, which broke and hit my knee. I swore in front of all the kids and my volunteer coordinator. FML
by PlsForget / 08/18/2016 at 5:47pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
Today, I got yelled at in my office. It's construction, and I'm the youngest woman. One of my male bosses yelled at me because grown-ass adults won't sign in the log. Either I get my ass kicked by construction guys over a sign-in sheet, or yelled at by my boss. I can't win. FML
by xAdtrx3x / 08/11/2016 at 2:16pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I had severe constipation. I went to get some more laxatives when I felt something fall onto the top of my head. I reached up to see what it was and it turned out to be quite a large spider. Guess who isn't constipated anymore. FML
by NotAGoodDay / 08/10/2016 at 2:57pm / United Kingdom (Suffolk) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/29/2016 at 4:33pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to spend two hours in the car with my mother. That doesn't sound so bad until you realize she's the kind of person who can, and did, spend nearly half an hour ranting about how the Big Beautiful Woman porn niche is the root of obesity in America. FML
by Toroka / 07/29/2016 at 2:59pm / Love
Today, I was playing a game with my family where we had to say the name of an actor/actress that started with a certain letter. When I said mine, my dad grounded me because he knew it was a pornstar. Now my mom is mad at my dad for watching porn too. FML