Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cornyrob

Offline (15 hours ago) | Search for a member

cornyrob

6Fucked!

cornyrobcornyrob
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 3 February 1966 (49 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 679
  • Number of comments : 98
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About cornyrob : Viderunt omnes.

cornyrob's page activity

Visits<b>davie94</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 11:04pm<b>MissEris</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 10:36pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 8:04pm<b>CliffPaul</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 10:05am<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 5:46pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 12:11am<b>SPN_lover666</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 1:44am<b>ToxicPlant</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 7:21pm<b>MRSwick2525</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 10:19am<b>getindoe69</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 11:44pm<b>lishabear</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 12:58pm<b>Soparot</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 1:14am<b>demi94</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 1:13pm<b>woobeee</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 1:32am<b>blondbombshell13</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 9:56pm<b>fuckyourlifeOP</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 5:23am<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 9:38pm<b>cakefete2</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 10:03am

Fucked!<b>TheCitizens96</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 3:38am<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 10:40am<b>noik01</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 9:49pm<b>Phylo</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 5:51pm<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 1:43pm<b>Door_Productions</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 3:04am

cornyrob's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of cornyrob's badges

cornyrob's favorite FMLs

Today, after putting in 110% at my shitty job for two years straight, my boss told me point-blank I'm too good in my current position for him to ever be able to justify promoting me. FML

#21460378
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21010) - you deserved it (1356)

On 08/25/2015 at 1:51am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad took my phone away because I "had to be texting while driving in order to wreck my car." I was too ashamed to tell him that a huge bug flew into my face causing me to veer off the road and into a brick mailbox. FML

#21460295
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16819) - you deserved it (6589)

On 08/24/2015 at 10:56pm - misc - by Animeislyfe - United States (Georgia)

Today, after some great sex, my boyfriend mused: "You know, from this position, I could punch you in the cunt and you wouldn't be able to stop me." I could only relax when he finally fell asleep nearly an hour later. FML

#21459620
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20927) - you deserved it (2328)

On 08/23/2015 at 10:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after nearly 2 years, my now ex-girlfriend decided she was ready to have sex. Specifically, sex with my dad. FML

#21459616
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25586) - you deserved it (1567)

On 08/23/2015 at 9:45am - love - by pontwa (man) - Australia

Today, my boss bitched me out for violating workplace privacy, after he found an FML post from last year that eerily resembled a situation that happened the same year. He thought I posted it and twisted things to make him look like an idiot. I've never posted here in my life. FML

#21458477
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24910) - you deserved it (2246)

On 08/20/2015 at 1:48pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, a customer came in to the Walmart I cashier at, trying to set me up with her daughter. This isn't the first time she's tried. As she so graciously put it, her daughter "has a thing for the wimpy nerdy types". FML

#21455427
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22781) - you deserved it (2050)

On 08/13/2015 at 12:13am - work - by Highroller_17 - United States

Today, I was laying on the couch, listening to music. I guess my brother noticed that I was yawning a lot, because when I opened my mouth and yawned again, he dropped one of his rancid toenail clippings into my mouth, then broke into hysterical laughter at my freaking out. FML

#21453093
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22895) - you deserved it (1901)

On 08/07/2015 at 9:49am - kids - by argfarblewarblearble (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after ranting to my best friend about how all our friends are having kids and how teenage pregnancy will ruin their lives, she announced to me that she's pregnant. FML

#21452790
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24357) - you deserved it (5738)

On 08/06/2015 at 3:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my friend offered to make me a playlist for the gym. I thought it was really thoughtful, until I started listening to it during my workout and realized that every single song was "Supersize Me" with the title changed. FML

#21451102
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21729) - you deserved it (1997)

On 08/02/2015 at 11:25pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I took a dump at work, when I realized there was no toilet paper left. There was another guy in the room, so I asked him for some. He decided he'd rather dump all the rolls of paper into the other toilets, before wishing me luck and walking out while laughing his ass off. FML

#21450797
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26921) - you deserved it (1988)

On 08/02/2015 at 9:32am - work - by FUCKFACECUNT (man) - United Arab Emirates (Abu Dhabi)

Today, I was on the phone with my senile grandma, when I told her I had to go because I had an appointment at the clinic. For some reason, she assumed I was talking about an abortion clinic, and started raging at me and calling me a murderer. FML

#21450246
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22706) - you deserved it (1598)

On 07/31/2015 at 11:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after a 4 or 5 month-long dry spell, I woke up next to an amazing and beautiful woman. Neither of us were wearing pants. She looked me in the eyes and said, "Did I piss the bed?" FML

#21448401
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23699) - you deserved it (2824)

On 07/28/2015 at 2:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my bosses were boasting about their work-funded retreat, including the $1,800 bottle of wine the company paid for. This would be fine if they hadn't just told me there are no funds to pay me for the work they've got me doing. We are also the biggest company in our industry. FML

#21440819
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25096) - you deserved it (1605)

On 07/13/2015 at 1:06am - work - by Wolfrunner87 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he thinks I'm cheating on him, with my brother. FML

#21439021
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24558) - you deserved it (1911)

On 07/09/2015 at 12:51pm - love - by dollfacee - United States

Today, my mother woke me up by loudly vacuuming the house. I had to work the next morning, so I asked her what she was thinking. She told me that if I was really tired and needed sleep, I wouldn't have woken up. It was 3 AM. FML

#21437872
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24529) - you deserved it (1542)

On 07/07/2015 at 9:26am - misc - by No-Sleep Nellie - United States (Iowa)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: