About corleon198425 : Live life have fun enjoy the things you have. we all make a difference in this world the question is how will you?
corleon198425's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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corleon198425's favorite FMLs
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
by Anonymous / 09/15/2011 at 4:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, it's my birthday. My dad came to pick me up, but after I had put my backpack in the back seat and closed the car door, he drove off without me. It started to rain, and I was without my phone or wallet. FML
by poisongrl / 09/06/2011 at 6:53pm / Macedonia (Karpos) / Transportation
Today, I was so starved of human contact that I almost took up a transsexual hooker's offer of a "good time." Nothing wrong with that really, but they looked like a haunted tree dressed as Liza Minnelli. FML
by Username / 09/05/2011 at 10:38pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by southernluxe / 09/04/2011 at 5:36am / United States / Intimacy
Today, thanks to my wife's confession, I found out that the 14 year old child I've raised since I was 16 isn't related to me at all. But at least this narrows the real father down to one of three other guys. FML
by candie / 08/26/2011 at 10:10pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
by Anonymous / 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm / United States / Animals
Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML
by Andrew / 08/23/2011 at 10:46am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/14/2011 at 8:25pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my religious parents were hosting a family dinner. Not only did we have to wait over an hour for my grandma to finally show up, but when she did, she had her 30 year old boytoy in tow. Apparently, "Granny has needs too you know, hahaha!" Goodbye peaceful family. FML
by Anonymous / 08/14/2011 at 4:21pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Love
by Username / 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by j / 08/13/2011 at 11:56pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 08/12/2011 at 6:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation
Today, I saw my brother's pregnant girlfriend smoking. Disgusted, I asked him why he didn't just stab her in the uterus and get it over with. He laughed like it was a joke, then cussed because he spilled his cereal. He's more concerned about spilled cereal than having a brain-damaged child. FML
by auntoftheyear / 08/10/2011 at 12:46am / United States (Louisiana) / Health
Today, I took my new boyfriend to a family dinner. Despite having made everyone agree to be on their best behavior, my grandma spewed obscenities such as "fuck me sideways, aren't you a catch?" and "you just can't pull ass like that at my age" throughout. FML
by moonstone15 / 08/05/2011 at 8:24pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
- Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came,… Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited,… Today, my boyfriend told me "don't worry, someday you'll be mature as well." By this, he meant that…