About corleon198425 : Live life have fun enjoy the things you have. we all make a difference in this world the question is how will you?
corleon198425's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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corleon198425's favorite FMLs
Today, at work as a bank teller, an angry customer complained that the payments on his two credit cards had been messed up the previous month, with the wrong amount being credited to each account. I asked if he knew who'd helped him. He said, "Well, it wasn't you - she was younger and prettier!" FML
by Old and Ugly / 04/23/2015 at 5:04am / United States / Work
Today, my mother-in-maw informed us that she sold her house and is moving in with us so we'll "take care" of her in old age. She's in perfect health. We've only been married for 4 months. My wife can't stand her for more than 2 weeks at a time, let alone living with us. FML
by NotAnInLawFamilyMan / 12/10/2014 at 9:05am / United States (California) / Love
by MarBlu / 01/23/2014 at 7:53am / United States / Miscellaneous
by crap / 01/17/2014 at 11:24am / United States (Ohio) / Health
by oops999 / 11/19/2013 at 2:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, after years of loaning my mother countless amounts of cash that never get paid back, borrowing $60 from her, and being just one day late paying it off due to food poisoning, she sends a very large man to my door to collect, like she's Tony Soprano. FML
by some people's parents / 04/18/2013 at 12:01am / United States (Colorado) / Money
Today, in break from tradition, I proposed to my boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on my knee, after pouring my heart out, he looked wistfully out over the water and said, "So, I was thinking pizza tonight." FML
by but I tried anal and everything / 11/22/2012 at 11:13am / United States (Iowa) / Love
Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML
by Failed Parent / 10/11/2012 at 2:59am / United States / Kids
by phoneless / 04/17/2012 at 3:23pm / Jordan / Miscellaneous
by spougeineye1 / 04/03/2012 at 12:37pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he decided to go down on me. Every time he got me close to orgasm, he'd stop and ask, "Are you about to come?" or "Does that feel good?" Now I can see why he's never made a girl orgasm. FML
by Anonymous / 04/02/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML
by PUA / 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by bowser_rawr16 / 03/12/2012 at 4:12pm / Canada / Money
Today, I was cooking and I burned my thumb. I had some first-aid burn spray, so I sprayed it on. I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and when I flicked my lighter, my thumb went up in flames. Turns out that first-aid burn spray is flammable. FML
by Anonymous / 03/07/2012 at 1:29am / United States / Health
by Miss_Kristen / 02/26/2012 at 10:31am / United States (Missouri) / Work
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…