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cooldaddio

Offline (the 04/02/2014 at 1:16pm) | Search for a member

cooldaddio

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 6 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1398
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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cooldaddio's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML

#21054738
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51500) - you deserved it (5831)

On 02/08/2014 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by O_o - United States (California)

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

#21046533
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54402) - you deserved it (6011) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend was spending the day at my place. Later on, I walked in while she was making lunch. She had a jar of mayo in her hand, and I joked, "I have some mayo, but it doesn't come from a jar." She had a bluetooth headset on, and was in a call with her father. 5ML

#21037484
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40655) - you deserved it (22390)

On 01/23/2014 at 7:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML

#21035329
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50198) - you deserved it (9906)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by MM - United States (Maine)

Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML

Today, I downloaded Grindr to my phone. It also downloaded to my mom's phone, my dad's phone, and my brother's phone. FML

#21030290
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37166) - you deserved it (19888)

On 01/16/2014 at 9:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my sister admitted to selling pages of my diary to my old boyfriends. FML

#20837392
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44671) - you deserved it (3646)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:13pm - kids - by sisterly love - United States (California)

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend's family, and he was saying how well his driving lessons are going. During this conversation his mum told him to "stop blowing your own trumpet." He replied, "If I could do that, I wouldn't need Anna." His dad gave him a high-five. FML

#20836995
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63544) - you deserved it (8099)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by NoMoreTrumpetBlowing (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59220) - you deserved it (5419)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found the carcass of the frog that got into my house last week. It was a horrifying sight, but not nearly as horrifying as the fact that I found it in my refrigerator. No, I don't know how it got in there either. FML

#20828988
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40530) - you deserved it (3298)

On 08/09/2013 at 12:15pm - animals - by W...T...F (woman) - United States

Today, I asked out a guy at work that I really like. He just stared at me and said, "Honestly? I'd rather smash my balls with a mallet. No offense." FML

#20828908
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50438) - you deserved it (4459)

On 08/09/2013 at 10:54am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, in the middle of examining me, my gynecologist suddenly took a sharp intake of breath and vomited on the floor. FML

#20826932
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56404) - you deserved it (15904)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:10am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Latvia (Jelgavas)

Today, my mum picked up a bunch of tissues that were scattered around my room. She examined them, then asked me to stop wasting her potential grandchildren. FML

#20825949
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48828) - you deserved it (39973)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Egypt

Today, I asked my mum why she never had any children after me. She scoffed and asked if I've looked in a mirror lately. FML

#20825248
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45710) - you deserved it (4358)

On 08/07/2013 at 8:24am - misc - by noiguessitsbroken :( (woman) - Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis)

Today, I was lifeguarding a pool party for a bunch of eight year olds. One of them decided it'd be funny to have a contest to see who could make the most bubbles with their farts. It led to three kids shitting themselves in the pool, and me having the dubious honor of cleaning it up. FML

#20823903
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57601) - you deserved it (4391)

On 08/06/2013 at 2:07pm - kids - by benjo - United States



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