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coolcola99

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coolcola99

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  • Number of visits : 19
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coolcola99's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

#20007961
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31722) - you deserved it (3001)

On 08/07/2012 at 4:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I mistook my dog's head for the gear shift while tearing down the highway. FML

#19829657
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7283) - you deserved it (22587)

On 06/22/2012 at 3:41pm - misc - by hakura madada - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I volunteered at a soup kitchen. During the rounds, a grisly but nice young fellow told me that I had beautiful eyes. I was quite touched; that is until he leaned in and added, "Can I have them for my collection?" FML

#19777133
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24559) - you deserved it (1713)

On 06/12/2012 at 3:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend brought up the time he said he'd love me until the day he died. He continued by saying, "So, let's just pretend I died today." FML

#19774662
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27654) - you deserved it (2021)

On 06/12/2012 at 1:29am - health - by fmmmmlll (woman) - United States

Today, I talked to my father for the first time in several years. I proudly told him that I have been attending Beauty School. He looked me up and down and said, "Doesn't look like you've learned much." FML

#19772636
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22191) - you deserved it (2700)

On 06/11/2012 at 7:39pm - misc - by beautyschool22 (woman) - United States

Today, my sister, knowing that I'm terrified of his face, taped a picture of Michael Jackson over our toilet. When I entered the washroom, I sprinted back out screaming. Minutes later, while in the shower, I happened to glance up at the ceiling. Guess who was grinning down at me. FML

#19753089
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25645) - you deserved it (8158)

On 06/08/2012 at 12:35am - misc - by ugh - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was going to the bathroom, my engagement ring fell off into the toilet, which then automatically flushed. FML

#19017910
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32668) - you deserved it (4352)

On 02/07/2012 at 12:49pm - misc - by joy - United States

Today, I spent two hours filling out an online application and questionnaire for a potential employer. The application stated that there were no right or wrong answers and to answer truthfully. I was automatically rejected. FML

#18853580
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22099) - you deserved it (4740)

On 01/19/2012 at 2:45pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I noticed I'd mislaid one half of the "Monday" pair of socks from my "days of the week" set that were a gift for my birthday. I'm slightly OCD. I think I'm going to rip the floorboards up if I don't find it. FML

#18449998
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21476) - you deserved it (9171)

On 12/07/2011 at 12:32am - misc - by socks (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a customer had an allergic reaction to the almonds in the sundae I made for her. We're supposed to put the almonds on unless the customer asks otherwise. She complained to my boss that I'd poisoned her. FML

#16462261
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30200) - you deserved it (3149)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:40am - work - by Unemployed (man) - United States

Today, is my birthday. Everyone forgot except my stalker. He rang the door bell the second it turned 12:00. FML

#15693187
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41460) - you deserved it (3526)

On 04/08/2011 at 11:03am - love - by hopeless -

Today, I dropped my blackberry, but thanks to the protective gel case that I just purchased for it... it bounced and fell right into a sidewalk drainage sewer. FML

#15531750
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39579) - you deserved it (4994)

On 03/28/2011 at 2:48pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was the only cash register open at the local supermarket. I had to sell condoms and chocolate frosting to my ex. FML

#7306098
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23951) - you deserved it (2369)

On 01/12/2010 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by Narehs (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while working as a cashier, I was flirting with this cute girl. When I asked her if she had her store card she said "No", paused, then said "Can I give you my number?". I said "Sure, that would be awesome, do you want mine?". She said no. I didn't know I could just enter the card number. FML

#5929779
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10022) - you deserved it (31908)

On 10/21/2009 at 3:53pm - love - by fyourlife (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out I have hypersomnia, which is basically being constantly tired. I've been treated with depression for years because the symptoms are similar. I've failed out of college three times because of this. Now, I think I really am depressed. FML



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