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containsnosoy

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containsnosoy
  • Town/Country : usa
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 25 October 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 11001
  • Number of comments : 466
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About containsnosoy : tiger.

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containsnosoy's favorite FMLs

Today, my first (and only true) date ended with the girl saying "Thanks for dinner, I was hungry - and oh, by the way, I'm a lesbian". FML

#763
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23774) - you deserved it (1676)

On 12/30/2008 at 10:21pm - love - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sat in the train and the old lady sitting next to me stares at my face. I ask her if she is ok and she starts yelling "Willy! It's you! Where have you been all this time?". The entire train trip went like this. FML

#593
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13822) - you deserved it (979)

On 12/25/2008 at 5:30am - misc - by LDF - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss asked me "can I give you some constructive criticism?". I said yes. He tells me "Your work is really shit. You have no talent and I can't figure out why I hired you." FML

#576
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19017) - you deserved it (2058)

On 12/22/2008 at 11:18pm - work - by crapules - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

#552
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48374) - you deserved it (5854)

On 12/19/2008 at 11:05am - intimacy - by chicochico - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to put my computer on slideshow mode. Did you know that hidden files are also read when you put slideshow on? I discovered this, as did my entire family, when my naked girlfriend appeared on the screen. FML

#549
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12761) - you deserved it (8155)

On 12/19/2008 at 12:17am - misc - by Mr Hawks - Sent from mobile version

Today, I need to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone has left work, I decide that, since I AM a jedi, my penis ought to be my Light saber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: “At least someone is having fun!” It was my boss. FML

#523
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5835) - you deserved it (20272)

On 12/15/2008 at 10:58pm - work - by lopez - Sent from mobile version

Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML

#509
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8334) - you deserved it (45952)

On 12/13/2008 at 10:58pm - intimacy - by Mateo - Sent from mobile version

Today, my wife, in her magnificent wedding dress, had her period during the ceremony. How did I find out? The same way everyone else did. FML

#505
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42231) - you deserved it (2278)

On 12/13/2008 at 12:48am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to fill up my car. 500 metres before the petrol station, I saw a group of motorcyclists in my rear view mirror. I slowed down and pulled over to let them past. In fact, they were also going to fill up. 35 motorcyclists and 2 petrol pumps. FML

#475
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16338) - you deserved it (5465)

On 12/09/2008 at 2:01am - misc - by gui909 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML

#452
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68607) - you deserved it (3743)

On 12/05/2008 at 3:12am - intimacy - by Mak1 - Belgium (Brabant)

Today, I'm heading towards my car clutching a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend, when along comes a sweet old lady who says: "it's not flowers she wants, it's some lovin'!". The elderly sure aren't what they used to be. FML

#449
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19388) - you deserved it (2734)

On 12/04/2008 at 6:16am - misc - by DarkPhoenix - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML

#437
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38572) - you deserved it (5627)

On 12/02/2008 at 3:27am - intimacy - by hell! - Sent from mobile version

Today, my philosophy teacher asked me about my parents. I replied that my mum was a cleaner and my dad was a bus driver. In an astonished voice, she said, "But, you're clever..." FML

#434
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25807) - you deserved it (1591)

On 12/02/2008 at 1:32am - misc - by lamb-chop - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend told me that I was irrationally jealous. I’ve just learnt that she has a website where she masturbates in front of a webcam. FML

#426
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50187) - you deserved it (2959)

On 12/01/2008 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Maestro - Sent from mobile version

Today, well actually last night, I did a full striptease for my girlfriend to "You can leave your hat on". When the song was over, I was then completely naked, she says to me : "Maybe we should have closed the shutters!" FML

#413
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28369) - you deserved it (9800)

On 11/29/2008 at 6:50am - intimacy - by ... - Sent from mobile version



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