Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

containsnosoy

Search for a member

containsnosoy

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 25 October 1989 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11635
  • Number of comments : 466
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About containsnosoy : tiger.

containsnosoy's page activity

Visits<b>ShinyMeatBicycle</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 3:15pm<b>slimblack</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 5:35pm<b>Zrtuy1</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 1:07pm<b>WubStep_</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 7:42pm<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 6:24pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 3:52pm<b>Earrings100</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 7:12pm<b>writ3thatdown</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 1:49am<b>Furby94</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 10:30pm<b>Kibaruto</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 11:13am<b>shucks101</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 6:23pm<b>Patriot115</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 12:25am<b>zoegirl_455</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 8:59pm<b>FindingYujin</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 10:44am<b>Sakshi</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 6:39am<b>ohishkabibble</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 6:46pm<b>theynaybor</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 3:00am<b>adultchild</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 7:28am

containsnosoy's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

containsnosoy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was putting a new lightbulb in when my wife walks into the room and says "you can't see a thing, i'll turn the light on for you". And she did. FML

#981
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23642) - you deserved it (1848)

On 01/11/2009 at 11:35pm - misc - by Christoams - Sent from mobile version

Today, I fell asleep on the train, totally wiped out after last night's party, which involved lots of booze and spicy Indian food. I wake up and notice a small boy staring at me, so I smiled at him. He turned to his father and said, "Daddy, the farting man has just woken up." FML

#947
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19760) - you deserved it (7936)

On 01/10/2009 at 9:11pm - kids - by mark - Sent from mobile version

Today, I came home from work. I crept up to the bedroom to gently wake up my girlfriend. I touch her shoulder and slowly leant in to give her a tender kiss. She suddenly wakes up and grabs me by the throat... I keep forgetting she's in the army. FML

#919
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26985) - you deserved it (7971)

On 01/09/2009 at 10:23pm - love - by Cùchulainn - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was teaching a class but kids were chatting. After 3 soap box speeches about "The next person who talks gets a note to take home," one kid looked right at me and went "meow". FML

#891
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20741) - you deserved it (6518)

On 01/09/2009 at 3:54am - kids - by Liz - Sent from mobile version

Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML

#857
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20903) - you deserved it (3669)

On 01/08/2009 at 6:21am - health - by depraved - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I signed up on one of those "cheater" dating sites. I ended up meeting my own girlfriend. FML

#798
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13535) - you deserved it (69131)

On 01/07/2009 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by Lou Czar - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that my wife sent nudie pics to her ex-husband. My wife's excuse for the pics? "I needed a compliment because I thought you didn't love me." FML

#737
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22687) - you deserved it (5135)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:25am - love - by beno - United States (Texas)

Today, I received a really nice red satin set of underwear, with a bra, a thong and a corset... From my grandfather. FML

#725
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27056) - you deserved it (1809)

On 01/07/2009 at 6:43am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went into a shop, not really completely awake. To get to the upper floor, I took the escalator... in the wrong direction. After about 30 seconds (which seemed like hours) trying to climb up the wrong way, my brain started working and by that time I already had a few amused spectators watching me. FML

#722
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14591) - you deserved it (7910)

On 01/07/2009 at 12:53am - misc - by maaaryy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I tried to cuddle Simon, my five year old son. He wriggled away and said: "If you need a teddy bear, go buy one! Or find another Simon!" FML

#697
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26599) - you deserved it (3041)

On 01/03/2009 at 10:55pm - kids - by sly - Sent from mobile version

Today, to amuse my girlfriend I put on her sexy nightshirt and go out on the balcony for a smoke, wriggling about in front of her window. She laughs until one of her neighbors shouts "HELLO!" from the upper floor, grinning at the show. FML

#696
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13189) - you deserved it (8858)

On 01/03/2009 at 8:59pm - misc - by gabess - Sent from mobile version

Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML

#687
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25922) - you deserved it (2010)

On 01/02/2009 at 10:26pm - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend tried to clean out the fireplace with a vacuum cleaner, she sucked up a bunch of embers which set the vacuum on fire. After a crying for a bit, she went back to finish cleaning up only to find that some embers she dumped in a bucket melted through and set part of the carpet on fire. FML

#645
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19080) - you deserved it (3165)

On 12/31/2008 at 9:53pm - misc - by blck - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML

#766
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46628) - you deserved it (2299)

On 12/31/2008 at 6:41pm - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, my first (and only true) date ended with the girl saying "Thanks for dinner, I was hungry - and oh, by the way, I'm a lesbian". FML

#763
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26988) - you deserved it (1939)

On 12/30/2008 at 10:21pm - love - by - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: