Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

containsnosoy

Search for a member

containsnosoy
  • Town/Country : usa
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 25 October 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 11013
  • Number of comments : 466
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About containsnosoy : tiger.

containsnosoy's last visitors

Kibarutoshucks101Patriot115zoegirl_455FindingYujinSakshiohishkabibbleadultchild

containsnosoy's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

containsnosoy's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was babysitting my nephews, the 7 year old boy walked up to me and asked if I was a lesbian. I laughed it off. An argument ensued about my sexuality for a good two hours. I lost. FML

#2591
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23433) - you deserved it (3532)

On 01/25/2009 at 9:51pm - kids - by ThatsNotRight - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I am studying abroad in Mexico and someone asked me what it's like to be from Minnesota. I responded in Spanish, in front of thirty people, what I thought translated to, "If you get cold, you can just put on a jacket." Apparently, what I thought meant "jacket" actually meant "masturbate". FML

#2562
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12004) - you deserved it (3106)

On 01/25/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Sally - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to work things out with my girlfriend that I'd had a huge fight with. She told me the night before to come over at noon and that she would be awake. I unlock our flat to see that the place was a mess. She had thrown a party and was still passed out naked next to her boss. FML

#2411
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23575) - you deserved it (1724)

On 01/24/2009 at 5:41am - love - by NJ - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally finished my 500 page manuscript and so went out to buy some paper to print it off. I get back home and find out my dad has infected my computer with a virus and the only way to save it was to wipe the hard drive, which he did. That script took me a year and I have no backup. FML

#2406
5 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33219) - you deserved it (21995)

On 01/24/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by David3000 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

#2256
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51493) - you deserved it (6997)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

#2248
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41586) - you deserved it (7812)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm - love - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I moved back home because I got laid off and could no longer afford my apartment. I decided to take a nap and when I woke up I overheard my Mom telling my Aunt that she used to be so proud of me and wonders when I became such a loser. Burn. FML

#2215
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19402) - you deserved it (2171)

On 01/22/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by TotallyFkd - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I discovered that Paolo has a big penis, that he's good in bed and that the hotel sheets still remember it all. Mum, the walls won't get any thicker just 'cause you're on the telephone. FML

#1813
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16725) - you deserved it (1052)

On 01/20/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom tried to bribe him with an iPhone to dump me. He accepted. FML

#1705
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26547) - you deserved it (1664)

On 01/19/2009 at 6:12am - love - by f'ed_over - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was gay and that he is in love with my younger brother. FML

#1554
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40327) - you deserved it (2255)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:41am - love - by Wenny - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I received an email from my boss telling me how appreciated I was and how valuable I am to the company. I wish I hadn't scrolled down to read the included conversation where he asked his boss whether to lie to me about how good I was or not. FML

#1527
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15413) - you deserved it (1387)

On 01/17/2009 at 11:00pm - work - by IHateMyJob - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

#1389
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32001) - you deserved it (2251)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Ohai - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and brought it to my parents. FML

#1384
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10686) - you deserved it (31868)

On 01/16/2009 at 2:38pm - animals - by Fucked - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the ugliest girl in school walked by me and said "ewwww". FML

#1091
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21134) - you deserved it (6378)

On 01/14/2009 at 8:09am - love - by Mr. Shawzy - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was having a cybersex chat with a "girl" on a website whilst at work. I noticed my colleague who sits next to me start cracking up with laughter. Turned out it was him I was chatting with and he was winding me up. Worst thing is it had given me a stiffy. FML

#1065
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8003) - you deserved it (35648)

On 01/14/2009 at 3:49am - intimacy - by diddlysquat - United Kingdom (Wakefield)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: