coldashell

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Offline (the 05/12/2016 at 8:50pm)

coldashell

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2724
  • Number of comments : 133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About coldashell : It's cold here.

coldashell's page activity

Visits<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 4:24pm<b>minxxx</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 10:32pm<b>saranguyen24</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 7:00pm<b>Wondermage</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 7:49pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 9:16pm<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 9:40am<b>raven83</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 11:08pm<b>Kitty_Kat44</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 10:39pm<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 1:10am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:09am<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 5:52pm<b>slippy327</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 10:21am<b>sam882</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 6:00pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 12:57pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 9:17am<b>cutycat136</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 6:26pm<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 7:21pm<b>kerstileann</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 2:21am

Fucked!<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 10:24pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 6:57pm<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 1:21am

coldashell's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of coldashell's badges

coldashell's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to a cop that the reason I was speeding was because my girlfriend was in the hospital due to a car accident. He was working the accident just ten minutes before and saw me leave behind the ambulance. He still gave me a ticket. FML

by KidJwal / 02/28/2012 at 12:10pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I ordered Chinese food. As I approached the restaurant to pick it up, I took out my keys and tried to unlock the front door. By the time I realized my mistake, everyone inside the restaurant had noticed and started laughing at me. FML

by Eric / 02/27/2012 at 4:58pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog managed to pull a one-pound package of raw bacon out and eat the entire package including the cardboard. The vets cheered when they finally got him to puke up the entire, unchewed package of bacon. FML

Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am. FML

by desperate905 / 02/21/2012 at 3:10am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

by Gavin / 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to find myself a friend on Craigslist. FML

by shea234 / 02/20/2012 at 11:19am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend sang "happy birthday" to my vagina. It was my birthday last month and he forgot, but he remembered the date of the first time he went down on me. FML

by me / 02/19/2012 at 6:37am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I was on the subway head bobbing to my favorite track when the guy across from me gets up, punches me in the face and says, "Don't nod at my wife like that." FML

by Anonymous / 02/19/2012 at 6:17am / United States / Transportation

Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML

by jess / 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous

Today, in a rush to get ready, I put on some "sexy" panties that I bought years ago. By the second hour of work, they were so tight and uncomfortable, I had to cut slits up the sides to avoid cutting off the circulation to my legs. FML

by too tight / 02/15/2012 at 6:26am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, I tried to inconspicuously hock a loogie. It went down my bra. FML

by Courtney / 02/04/2012 at 3:22pm / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to give my husband a tutorial on how to use jumper cables. Confused and flustered, he requested written instructions. FML

by MM / 02/02/2012 at 9:50am / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

Today, I got stuck in a revolving door. FML

by pmony / 02/01/2012 at 9:48pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I didn't have plans on shaving my pubic hair. My girlfriend's braces thought otherwise. FML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2012 at 3:22pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy