About coldashell : It's cold here.
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coldashell's favorite FMLs
Today, I had to explain to a cop that the reason I was speeding was because my girlfriend was in the hospital due to a car accident. He was working the accident just ten minutes before and saw me leave behind the ambulance. He still gave me a ticket. FML
by KidJwal / 02/28/2012 at 12:10pm / United States / Transportation
Today, I ordered Chinese food. As I approached the restaurant to pick it up, I took out my keys and tried to unlock the front door. By the time I realized my mistake, everyone inside the restaurant had noticed and started laughing at me. FML
by Eric / 02/27/2012 at 4:58pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my dog managed to pull a one-pound package of raw bacon out and eat the entire package including the cardboard. The vets cheered when they finally got him to puke up the entire, unchewed package of bacon. FML
by Kovu / 02/27/2012 at 2:08am / Reserved / Animals
by desperate905 / 02/21/2012 at 3:10am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy
by Gavin / 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Intimacy
by shea234 / 02/20/2012 at 11:19am / United States / Miscellaneous
by me / 02/19/2012 at 6:37am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/19/2012 at 6:17am / United States / Transportation
Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML
by jess / 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous
Today, in a rush to get ready, I put on some "sexy" panties that I bought years ago. By the second hour of work, they were so tight and uncomfortable, I had to cut slits up the sides to avoid cutting off the circulation to my legs. FML
by too tight / 02/15/2012 at 6:26am / United States (Ohio) / Health
by Courtney / 02/04/2012 at 3:22pm / Reserved / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML
by aliezzedine / 02/02/2012 at 6:32am / Lebanon / Miscellaneous
by pmony / 02/01/2012 at 9:48pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/24/2012 at 3:22pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
- Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. Not an hour later, I walked in on my sister giving… Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to… Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex in his car. He got out of the car and moved to the…