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coldashell

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coldashell
  • Town/Country : land of snow, ice, and cold, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 986
  • Number of comments : 132
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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coldashell's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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coldashell's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

#19547170
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31403) - you deserved it (8087)

On 04/29/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by ShadowJack - United States

Today, I met a guy while out with some friends. He kept blowing up his cheeks, so I did it back to him and asked him why he did it. He pulled out a card from his wallet and pointed at it. It was a card saying he may have speech or facial difficulties because he had a stroke when he was 12. FML

#19454925
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17873) - you deserved it (9011)

On 04/12/2012 at 9:47am - misc - by Holls (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I dressed up for a date. After waiting for hours, sending countless texts and voice mails to my date, and thinking I'd been stood up, I remembered my date is actually scheduled for tomorrow. FML

#19418813
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8001) - you deserved it (30852)

On 04/06/2012 at 5:04pm - love - by Sash (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stops and asks if he can eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

#19414574
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20882) - you deserved it (3078)

On 04/05/2012 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Krissy (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML

#19414081
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19724) - you deserved it (4129)

On 04/05/2012 at 8:41pm - health - by TwiceDaily,Kids (man) - United States

Today, my new roommate took a shower. This would be a good thing, except for the fact that it's apparently taken her two months just to take this one. I have to live with her for another year. FML

#19411830
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18858) - you deserved it (1565)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by I hate nasty people - United States (Indiana)

Today, my dream finally came true, I slept with the woman I love. Sadly, after that I got friend-zoned, because she's in love with my brother, and she wanted my help to get to him. FML

#19406432
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27528) - you deserved it (2558)

On 04/04/2012 at 12:41pm - love - by Sociallyawkwardpenguin (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was woken up by a call from "the Nuisance Call Prevention Registry". The lady on the telephone didn't see the irony. FML

#19405538
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17320) - you deserved it (1626)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:58am - misc - by Telemarket (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I woke up for the third time in a row from a wet dream about my ex-girlfriend. I'm currently on my honeymoon. FML

#19405525
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28175) - you deserved it (9946)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:53am - intimacy - by gordogs 25 - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I called my girlfriend saying "I think we need to break up." She said "No, I don't think so," and hung up. FML

#19387601
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15712) - you deserved it (28876)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:03am - love - by Jeff make - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I visited my new doctor, hoping that he would be able to figure out the cause of the pains I've been having for years. He told me there's nothing he can do, that half the drugs out there cause cancer anyway and that I should look into homeopathy. Great. FML

#19382117
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15779) - you deserved it (1795)

On 03/31/2012 at 12:17pm - health - by freakofnature (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I took a very expensive flight to New York City for a job interview. I waited in my hotel room all day for the phone call to go to my once in a lifetime interview. By noon I was nervous, eight I was pissed. Around ten I realized my phone was still in airplane mode. FML

#19381201
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24145) - you deserved it (17415)

On 03/31/2012 at 8:35am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I joined a dating site. The first guy it recommended is the stalker I met on the last dating site I used. FML

#19356489
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21467) - you deserved it (3923)

On 03/27/2012 at 8:25am - love - by thammer (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML

#19349740
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22753) - you deserved it (2421)

On 03/26/2012 at 5:11am - intimacy - by pmek - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I witnessed my husband swat a coffee bean over and over again, all the while mistaking it for a fly. I then figured he probably has a lower IQ than I do, which wouldn't be so bad if mine wasn't a few points away from minor retardation. FML

#19340403
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16038) - you deserved it (4815)

On 03/24/2012 at 7:06pm - misc - by sheilob (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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