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coldashell

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coldashell

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1241
  • Number of comments : 133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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coldashell's page activity

Visits<b>derp_taco</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 10:31am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 5:43pm<b>sk8rdud3</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 12:02pm<b>ManateeRex</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 10:33am<b>Highrollers</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 10:23am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 10:01am<b>Crusher74</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 6:55am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 4:17pm<b>cheer4life______</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 10:42pm<b>billionair11</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 10:21pm<b>Annacakes72</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 12:46pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 4:23am<b>stevenN659</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 1:50am<b>renjisgirl12</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 5:44pm<b>lgeezy</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 12:14am<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 2:54am<b>MaryssaJean</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 10:45pm<b>SillySweetGirl</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 11:35pm

coldashell's FML badges

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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coldashell's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML

#20005444
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19959) - you deserved it (2335)

On 08/06/2012 at 7:20am - misc - by Spockx - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML

#20003323
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27431) - you deserved it (5841)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML

#20000823
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26310) - you deserved it (1514)

On 08/03/2012 at 6:50pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Tabasco)

Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML

#19999762
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29109) - you deserved it (2554)

On 08/03/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by SingleAgain (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had eight teeth removed in preparation for getting my braces fitted. My winter break will now consists of barely being able to sleep or eat, tasting blood, and looking like a goofy-ass chipmunk. FML

#19900081
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20878) - you deserved it (2020)

On 07/06/2012 at 1:11pm - misc - by Julie is in pain (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I called my mom to see how she was doing. She quickly hijacked the conversation and said that she's signed me up for a dating site, because she feels bad that I can't find a decent man. I've been dating my boyfriend for seven months, and she's seen me with him multiple times. FML

#19890809
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21123) - you deserved it (1946)

On 07/04/2012 at 2:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML

#19844489
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20614) - you deserved it (2496)

On 06/25/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went bra shopping with my mother. She insisted that I try on a bunch of push-up bras, and I told her I didn't want to, because it's false advertising. She looked at me and said that I need all the help I can get. FML

#19800158
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23389) - you deserved it (4033)

On 06/17/2012 at 3:11am - misc - by historyfreak_17 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

#19784539
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27855) - you deserved it (6630)

On 06/13/2012 at 10:21pm - intimacy - by biggieT - Sri Lanka (Western)

Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML

#19738484
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27331) - you deserved it (3063)

On 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by why... (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I saw a text message on my husband's phone from a "Candice", asking him if he and his wife are still separated, followed by an invitation to spend the night. I never knew we were separated in the first place. FML

#19732983
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37191) - you deserved it (2164)

On 06/04/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I spilled my guts to my girlfriend, saying I'm scared that all I do is upset her. I then had to sit through a speech about how upset she was that I hadn't told her sooner. FML

#19699058
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20679) - you deserved it (4226)

On 05/29/2012 at 1:50pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Flevoland)

Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML

#19651204
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19301) - you deserved it (7697)

On 05/20/2012 at 11:03am - health - by jcdc - United States (Texas)

Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML

#19651204
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19301) - you deserved it (7697)

On 05/20/2012 at 11:03am - health - by jcdc - United States (Texas)

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

#19650159
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26370) - you deserved it (2998)

On 05/20/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by sick and awkward - United States (Maryland)



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