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Offline (the 05/12/2016 at 8:50pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2871
  • Number of comments : 133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About coldashell : It's cold here.

coldashell's page activity

Visits<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 4:24pm<b>minxxx</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 10:32pm<b>saranguyen24</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 7:00pm<b>Wondermage</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 7:49pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 9:16pm<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 9:40am<b>raven83</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 11:08pm<b>Kitty_Kat44</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 10:39pm<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 1:10am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:09am<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 5:52pm<b>slippy327</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 10:21am<b>sam882</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 6:00pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 12:57pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 9:17am<b>cutycat136</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 6:26pm<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 7:21pm<b>kerstileann</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 2:21am

Fucked!<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 10:24pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 6:57pm<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 1:21am

coldashell's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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coldashell's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML

by Spockx / 08/06/2012 at 7:20am / New Zealand (Waikato) / Miscellaneous

Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2012 at 1:33am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2012 at 6:50pm / Mexico (Tabasco) / Health

Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML

by SingleAgain / 08/03/2012 at 2:22am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had eight teeth removed in preparation for getting my braces fitted. My winter break will now consists of barely being able to sleep or eat, tasting blood, and looking like a goofy-ass chipmunk. FML

by Julie is in pain / 07/06/2012 at 1:11pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called my mom to see how she was doing. She quickly hijacked the conversation and said that she's signed me up for a dating site, because she feels bad that I can't find a decent man. I've been dating my boyfriend for seven months, and she's seen me with him multiple times. FML

by Anonymous / 07/04/2012 at 2:01pm / United States / Love

Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2012 at 11:53am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went bra shopping with my mother. She insisted that I try on a bunch of push-up bras, and I told her I didn't want to, because it's false advertising. She looked at me and said that I need all the help I can get. FML

by historyfreak_17 / 06/17/2012 at 3:11am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

by biggieT / 06/13/2012 at 10:21pm / Sri Lanka (Western) / Intimacy

Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML

by why... / 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I saw a text message on my husband's phone from a "Candice", asking him if he and his wife are still separated, followed by an invitation to spend the night. I never knew we were separated in the first place. FML

by Anonymous / 06/04/2012 at 2:21pm / United States (Mississippi) / Love

Today, I spilled my guts to my girlfriend, saying I'm scared that all I do is upset her. I then had to sit through a speech about how upset she was that I hadn't told her sooner. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2012 at 1:50pm / Netherlands (Flevoland) / Love

Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML

by jcdc / 05/20/2012 at 11:03am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML

by jcdc / 05/20/2012 at 11:03am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I was really sick. I had been sneezing all day and my skin had started to dry out. When my mom asked me if I needed anything, I immediately responded with "lotion and tissues," not realizing what I was suggesting. She then talked to me for 20 minutes about how "masturbation is okay." FML

by sick and awkward / 05/20/2012 at 2:11am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy