coldashell

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Offline (the 05/12/2016 at 8:50pm)

coldashell

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2644
  • Number of comments : 133
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About coldashell : It's cold here.

coldashell's page activity

Visits<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 4:24pm<b>minxxx</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 10:32pm<b>saranguyen24</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 7:00pm<b>Wondermage</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 7:49pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 9:16pm<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 9:40am<b>raven83</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 11:08pm<b>Kitty_Kat44</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 10:39pm<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 1:10am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:09am<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 5:52pm<b>slippy327</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 10:21am<b>sam882</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 6:00pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 12:57pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 9:17am<b>cutycat136</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 6:26pm<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 7:21pm<b>kerstileann</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 2:21am

Fucked!<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 10:24pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 6:57pm<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 1:21am

coldashell's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of coldashell's badges

coldashell's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the April Fool's Day prank my girlfriend and best friend played on me was not a joke, and that they actually did sleep together. FML

by gullible / 04/12/2014 at 12:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I called my mom to ask for some help with my dishwasher. Somehow, the call got turned into a video call. I was wearing a bathrobe, and she was naked in her bathroom. Most awkward call ever. FML

by FaceTime issues / 04/06/2014 at 2:57am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

by molliciousj / 02/19/2014 at 12:09am / United States (Texas) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

by OakStake / 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

by Kyra.45 / 10/03/2013 at 6:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I found out this girl I had sex with lied to me. They weren't razor burn bumps. And I now have them. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 7:44am / United States / Intimacy

Today, a customer kept harassing me and threatening to sue me for all I'm worth because I wouldn't give her a free refill. Her reasoning was that it's "illegal" to deny people a free refill if there's still a little drink left in the cup. FML

by goshoveafuckingfrappuccinoupyourvagyoupsychocunt / 09/07/2013 at 5:43pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, my parents yelled at me for 10 minutes without letting me get a word in edgeways for getting a 48 on my test. They took my phone, unplugged my internet, and took my car keys. They wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told them, "It was out of 50". It actually was. FML

by :) / 05/29/2013 at 3:31am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after having sex, my girlfriend left my apartment after furiously ranting at me, because I made her come "too many times" and that it's "unfair" to her. What? FML

by AllegroRubato / 12/04/2012 at 3:09pm / Chile (Region Metropolitana) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I learned that despite having told them two years ago, my parents still aren't accepting of me being gay. I found this out when my mom called and asked if I was "cured" yet. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2012 at 6:43pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2012 at 4:42am / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML

by juliette / 10/08/2012 at 1:39am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, my landlord informed me that from now on, she'd prefer if I paid my rent in cash each month. Apparently, I "look sketchy" and she didn't "ever want to deal with the hassle of a bounced check." FML

by sketchball / 10/05/2012 at 10:56am / United States / Money

Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2012 at 11:17am / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Intimacy

Today, after weeks of dealing with a bad hair cut, my hair finally grew back to my preferred length. Today is also the day my roommate replaced my shampoo with hair remover as a prank. FML

by Hairless freak / 09/23/2012 at 4:14am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous