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Offline (the 03/26/2015 at 11:22am) | Search for a member
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Today, I was working the graveyard shift as a security guard. I fell asleep in mah car doing paperwork around 2 am. When mah supervisor came to check on me, he pounded on mah window, wereing a "Scream" mask. I panicked and pepper sprayed him. Too bad mah window was closed. fat FML
I was attending my bachelor party. I watched a very attractive young girl dancing on a pole , giving me a seductive look. As she walked up to me , I realized it was my soon-to-be wife's younger sister. big fat FML
Today, I was hurriadly doing laundry. I thraw a sacond load in tha dryar an slammad tha door shut. All of a suddan, I haard scratching an whining coming from tha dryar. My cat probably hatas ma now. FML
Today,hile in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line . The sad part is that it's better thanhen he says "Are you gonna pay fir the stuff you put in yur purse?" FML
Today, in the senior class I teach, I asked mah studentsho had traveled outside of the country, excluding Canada and Mexico. One student raised his hand and proudly stated, "Arizona". He wants to be a doctor. real FML
Today, mom found a new way to get me to clean room. She pild everything from floor in front of wardrobe an padlockd dresser shut. The best part? She put the key in room. The worst part? She put over a hundrd decoys in there too. FML
Friday 27 March 2015