cohofourtyfour

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Offline (the 07/14/2016 at 1:06pm)

cohofourtyfour

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 May 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2610
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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cohofourtyfour's page activity

Visits<b>mimi_tenten</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 10:42pm<b>funky2525</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 9:00am

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cohofourtyfour's favorite FMLs

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

by Anonymous / 08/15/2015 at 5:32am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, most of my family was out of the house, so I took the opportunity to go to the bathroom and browse some porn. Five minutes later my sister comes and asks me to disconnect from bluetooth and that my "dinosaur noises" were blocking her and her friend's music. I'm currently hiding in shame. FML

by Nigel / 07/13/2015 at 5:15pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had to explain to several young children why asking the new blind girl to play hide and seek with them is inappropriate. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 12:52pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Kids

Today, a guy asked me for my number. Now I deeply regret giving it to him, because he won't stop sending me Bible quotes and pictures of Jesus. FML

by Iwtumn / 04/30/2015 at 2:15pm / Austria (Steiermark) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mom announced my pregnancy to the entire family via Facebook with the post, "Just went from a MILF to a GILF in one moment of unprotected sex." FML

Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML

by TooShortToCleanThat / 03/19/2015 at 11:22pm / United States / Love

Today, when I dropped my 6-year-old daughter off at school, a little boy ran up to her so I asked his name. My daughter explained: "Oh, don't pay any attention to him, he's my slave. He's come to carry my bag. See you later, mom!" FML

by mafille / 03/18/2015 at 11:22pm / France / Kids

Today, my dad spent 30 minutes incorrectly correcting me about our legal system. He thinks he knows more than me because he's been divorced twice. I'm a lawyer. FML

by Anonymous / 03/18/2015 at 3:06am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my brother wore a T-shirt to my birthday party that said "I dig skinny chicks". I'm a recovering anorexic and told him that I didn't really like his shirt. His response? "Don't let the liberal media brainwash you into thinking it's OK to be fat." FML

by Idigrespectfulattire / 03/17/2015 at 8:18pm / Trinidad and Tobago (Port-of-Spain) / Miscellaneous

Today, at Walmart, I overheard a lady telling a teenage girl that the secret to keeping a guy for life is giving him anal, but that it's important to clean your "shitter" beforehand. I can't believe these kinds of sick freaks actually exist. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2015 at 1:54pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the grocery store with my four-year-old. She has some issues with wetting the bed, so I told her that if she wasn't sure if she was dreaming about "going", she should pinch herself to make sure she's awake. In the produce section, she pinched herself, smiled proudly, and peed. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2015 at 12:23am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, some homeless person came up to the window and started doing a voice-over. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2015 at 11:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML

by thecarisfine / 03/14/2015 at 12:27am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sent a picture to my best friend of the shoes I want to wear to prom. She replied, "Wow those are so unique". I guess she forgot that last week she told me she only uses the word unique when she hates something. FML

by uglyshoegirl / 03/08/2015 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous