Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cohofourtyfour

Offline (the 05/02/2015 at 3:22pm) | Search for a member

cohofourtyfour

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 June 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1626
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

cohofourtyfour's page activity

Visits<b>funky2525</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 9:00am

cohofourtyfour's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of cohofourtyfour's badges

cohofourtyfour's favorite FMLs

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18759) - you deserved it (55459)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I hit my head on the steering wheel when I sneezed. I managed to honk the horn and the guy next to me couldn't stop laughing. FML

#21361311
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32361) - you deserved it (4783)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:41pm - misc - by headache - United States

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

#21356191
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36290) - you deserved it (3463)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I stole my brother's fuzzy slippers for the day as I usually do. Too bad he had been anticipating this and had left a mouse trap in one of them. FML

#21348664
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14812) - you deserved it (39403)

On 02/02/2015 at 10:14pm - health - by toe - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, a booklet came in the mail, addressed to me and titled "How To Train Your Wife". I didn't order it but my wife doesn't believe me. FML

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29791) - you deserved it (13138)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of six years. She got mad at me, saying she is too young to get married and that I was trying to ruin her career. She is 32 and works part-time at a grocery store. FML

#21322620
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34064) - you deserved it (3072)

On 12/23/2014 at 10:24am - love - by got any coupons? - United States

Today, I had to babysit my 7-year-old niece while my brother bought Christmas presents. After he left, she walked up to me and said in a very dark voice, "I'm gonna make you hate children!" Now my apartment looks like a bomb site. FML

#21316125
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28547) - you deserved it (2565)

On 12/12/2014 at 10:15am - kids - by Che_likes_you - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said "avada kedavra". She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML

#21315060
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34921) - you deserved it (2808)

On 12/10/2014 at 2:58pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML

#21312961
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21254) - you deserved it (34064)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:10am - misc - by .__. (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)

Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML

#21312925
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30876) - you deserved it (6304)

On 12/07/2014 at 1:15am - misc - by Gassy and sassy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48264) - you deserved it (13550)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML

#21303913
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30877) - you deserved it (2291)

On 11/22/2014 at 1:37pm - kids - by uterurist (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my five year old sister won't stop saying, "shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML

#21303585
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26876) - you deserved it (2945)

On 11/21/2014 at 10:29pm - kids - by angkal2002 - Australia

Today, my 12-year-old daughter informed me that she is eager to lose her virginity, "Because I don't want to be thrown into a volcano!" FML

#21300667
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32227) - you deserved it (3564)

On 11/17/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: