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codazombie

Offline (the 08/19/2014 at 2:37am) | Search for a member

codazombie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Thursday 24 December 1987 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 214
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About codazombie : music=life

codazombie's page activity

Visits<b>AngryRussianGuy</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 2:03pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 8:02am<b>TheDoctorDonna</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 10:48pm<b>AGB10</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 10:30am<b>btf420</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 11:48pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 5:09pm<b>bassbadass</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 2:56pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 9:07pm<b>MurphyGallagher</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 3:01pm<b>ceji3</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 11:18pm<b>vashhybrid</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 12:24pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 4:47am<b>Awahso</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 12:08am<b>Valeyard</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 1:41pm<b>Beyto7000</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 11:33pm<b>Saddyohh</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 11:44pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 11:33am<b>michaelf461</b> - the 07/27/2013 at 10:46am

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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codazombie's favorite FMLs

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37285) - you deserved it (11696)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

#21227114
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42576) - you deserved it (6967)

On 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by WickedRene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35058) - you deserved it (11472)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50409) - you deserved it (6610)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

#21191137
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38787) - you deserved it (7058)

On 06/28/2014 at 2:28am - health - by Madridsta - United States (California)

Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML

#21183414
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41739) - you deserved it (5539)

On 06/21/2014 at 7:14pm - misc - by icandothecancan - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52319) - you deserved it (4603)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML

#21171341
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40605) - you deserved it (4416)

On 06/11/2014 at 8:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

#21152005
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45811) - you deserved it (5294)

On 05/26/2014 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40350) - you deserved it (7937)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML

#21116585
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39304) - you deserved it (4362)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19406) - you deserved it (44802)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47910) - you deserved it (9536)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

#21055858
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43489) - you deserved it (14219) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by vegas-81 - France

Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML

#21048300
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40880) - you deserved it (10303)

On 02/02/2014 at 4:50pm - animals - by foops (woman) - United Kingdom



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