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Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14812) - you deserved it (69531)
On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had the most exciting dream of my life. I was dreaming about catching a shiny charmander. I'm 15, and instead of dreaming of girls, I'm dreaming of Pokémon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24509) - you deserved it (12494)
On 06/29/2011 at 1:47pm - misc - by wispywee - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my 12 year old son came home from school and informed me that he bought an air guitar for $20. He honestly thinks this is a good price. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27452) - you deserved it (9170)
On 05/10/2011 at 1:18am - kids - by Whatdididowrong? -
Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62484) - you deserved it (11821)
On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was paired up with a partner in my Film class. He has an idea for a film: 'shoot an onion from all angles, light it on fire, and roll it down a hill'. He was dead serious. I'm stuck with this guy for the whole year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22258) - you deserved it (2857)
On 02/22/2011 at 9:28am - work - by Dean Heffern -
Today, I made the discovery that I'm in a true love triangle; both of my girlfriends are dating one another. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10788) - you deserved it (44815)
On 02/12/2011 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was attacked by clowns at work. I don't work at the circus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24355) - you deserved it (2675)
On 02/08/2011 at 11:27am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, is my daughter's first birthday. Today also marks 1 year and 9 months since I last had sex with my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30784) - you deserved it (3236)
On 11/24/2010 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by notgettingany (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34077) - you deserved it (9039)
On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34077) - you deserved it (9039)
On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version
Today, my credit card number was stolen. The thief used it to purchase identity theft protection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27078) - you deserved it (1674)
On 11/10/2009 at 8:17pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, while I was watching Miley Cyrus' new music video, I had an itch near my bikini line that I couldn't reach through my jeans. So I unzipped my pants to get to it, and that's when my boyfriend walked in on me with my hands down my pants. He thought I was getting off on the music video. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38179) - you deserved it (16634)
On 08/15/2009 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by notguilty (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got two viruses on my laptop. One was a fake anti-spyware program that cluttered the screen with pop-ups. The other opened windows explorer repeatedly, each time to a generic porn site. This all conveniently happened at work, on a projector and during a meeting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42113) - you deserved it (5075)
On 07/01/2009 at 5:37am - work - by Robert (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I had a horribly realistic dream where I was being robbed and had to swallow my wedding ring to save it. After waking up, I realized my wedding ring is in fact gone. The doctor assures me that I will have it back in a day or two. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42448) - you deserved it (2505)
On 06/14/2009 at 9:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - Japan (Okinawa)
Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML
I agree, your life sucks (132061) - you deserved it (5353)
On 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by hedgehog5 - United States (North Carolina)
Monday 17 June 2013
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