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cobaltjedi

Offline (the 06/09/2014 at 3:37am) | Search for a member

cobaltjedi

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 October 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 544
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cobaltjedi : ummm...

cobaltjedi's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of cobaltjedi's badges

cobaltjedi's favorite FMLs

Today, for the second time, I met the man I'm having an arranged marriage with in 3 months. I'd previously met him last night, while he was mugging me. FML

#20120711
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38266) - you deserved it (2813)

On 10/17/2012 at 6:15am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML

#20106911
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29537) - you deserved it (3874)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by juliette (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dog was run over. The man who ran over my dog was taking his own dog to the emergency vet. As the man awkwardly tried to apologise to me, he said, "Think of the irony". FML

#20026086
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24067) - you deserved it (1581)

On 08/17/2012 at 7:26am - animals - by byegeorge (woman) - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, my girlfriend found my list of women I've had sex with, complete with the ratings I'd given them. The list is in chronological order. She's not only not the highest rated, she's not last on the list. FML

#20024660
503 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11361) - you deserved it (151338)

On 08/16/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

#19918073
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18221) - you deserved it (36509)

On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I'm accused of vandalizing a cop car during a night of partying, and in so doing, violating my parole. While talking with my lawyer, who I spent all my savings on, I said he could hire better than his hideous secretary. Turns out she's his wife. I think I'm now more screwed than ever. FML

#19915477
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5440) - you deserved it (52962)

On 07/09/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by jillie minaj (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that a family member found a publisher for his book; his badly written, terribly sourced, historically inaccurate book that insults and misrepresents most world cultures and religions. If this actually makes it to print, I'll never be able to use my maiden name again. FML

#19620851
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19891) - you deserved it (1884)

On 05/14/2012 at 3:37am - misc - by AmatureLitCritic - United States (Oregon)

Today, I received a text from the guy I'm into, thanking me for helping him drunkenly stumble back to his apartment last night. He ended it with, "How long did you stay?" Apparently, he doesn't remember confessing his secret love for me, or the fantastic kiss that followed. FML

#19531707
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26647) - you deserved it (3595)

On 04/26/2012 at 10:43am - love - by Aus (woman) - United States

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

#19514689
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27568) - you deserved it (4212)

On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

#19509709
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26447) - you deserved it (10982)

On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)

Today, some guy hit my car and then threatened to sue me for "parking my car in such a way that it was impossible not to hit it." My car was in the driveway. FML

#18998594
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28107) - you deserved it (1918)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:08am - misc - by dreefsa - United States (California)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
216 comments

Today, my girlfriend started a month-long period of not talking to me. One of her male friends, who is a self-styled astrologist, told her there are "bad omens" in our relationship for the coming weeks. I don't know if I should dump her for being gullible or just plain stupid. FML

#18943395
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23880) - you deserved it (3215)

On 01/29/2012 at 2:10pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML

#18744255
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51395) - you deserved it (4390)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:24am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my racist grandmother was complaining that the new nurse at her nursing home is a black woman. I casually asked, "Is she cute?" I'm now out of the will. FML

#18641039
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30410) - you deserved it (6878)

On 12/29/2011 at 1:47am - misc - by Snurkles McGree (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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