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cobaltjedi

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cobaltjedi

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 October 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 739
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cobaltjedi : ummm...

cobaltjedi's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of cobaltjedi's badges

cobaltjedi's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, a woman came up to the snack bar and ordered a pretzel with no salt. When I served her the food, she angrily complained about it having no salt, followed by her throwing the whole thing in my face. FML

#20794141
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47157) - you deserved it (3198)

On 07/20/2013 at 1:47pm - work - by YOU KNOW WHAT, FUCK THE CUSTOMER (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57183) - you deserved it (6603)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my dad grounded me for swearing, after I read a funny comment on Youtube to my sister. The supposed swear word? "YOLO." FML

#20792771
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36621) - you deserved it (33874)

On 07/19/2013 at 5:53pm - misc - by libraries are a girl's best friend (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had to break up a fist fight between two female residents. I work in a retirement home. FML

#20791178
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42955) - you deserved it (3189)

On 07/18/2013 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, one of my cats gave birth. My other cat responded by eating the new litter in a jealous rage, then got indigestion and vomited. I had to clean up regurgitated kittens. FML

Today, working my job, I had to explain to a kid that Pokemon is owned by Nintendo and they don't make it for the Xbox. Upset by this, he took hold of my leg and started biting. I'm also suspended, because his mother complained when I kicked him off me. FML

#20771337
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49505) - you deserved it (3276)

On 07/08/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by Garchomp (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was bombarded with phone calls from debt collectors. After some investigation, it turns out my grandma, who has dementia, has been going into our mailbox and throwing away the outgoing mail because it wasn't addressed to her. I'm now apparently 3 months behind in payments. FML

#20720825
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47390) - you deserved it (8009)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:57am - money - by redvolvo23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend threw out my old voicemail recorder, thinking it was junk. My father passed away years ago. I kept a recording of the last voicemail he'd left me on it so I'd always remember his voice. FML

#20718168
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76582) - you deserved it (3866)

On 06/10/2013 at 7:35pm - misc - by Upset (woman) - United States

Today, I got on the subway with a broken leg. A kind woman stood up and offered me her seat. Before I could sit down, a guy shoved past me and took it for himself. The woman and I pointed out my cast and crutches, and asked him to give up the seat. He responded by flipping us off. FML

#20685391
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52994) - you deserved it (2880)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:14pm - misc - by a hex upon your anus, sir (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend bought me a silver necklace. I have a silver allergy, but I thanked him anyway and encouraged him to return it. I found out later that he knew about my allergy all along and bought it on purpose so he could return it, get a refund, and still look good. FML

#20652174
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59658) - you deserved it (4741)

On 05/09/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

#20613218
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50526) - you deserved it (8175)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

#20527203
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64556) - you deserved it (5652)

On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)

Today, after working out at the gym, I went to grab my bag, and realized that my phone was missing. Panicking, I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and dialed my mom's number to tell her I'd lost it. It took me until the last ring to realize what I was doing. FML

#20526546
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11478) - you deserved it (38180)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

#20523671
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44981) - you deserved it (5629)

On 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm - intimacy - by Frostbitten (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I met my new class. There are two Kevin Smiths. Neither will agree to a nickname, they have the same hair color, and their middle names both start with J. They have told me to call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2. They both want to be Kevin 1. FML

#20512577
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38853) - you deserved it (3078)

On 02/18/2013 at 7:26pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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