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cobaltjedi

Offline (the 02/07/2016 at 11:15pm) | Search for a member

cobaltjedi

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 October 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 854
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About cobaltjedi : ummm...

cobaltjedi's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of cobaltjedi's badges

cobaltjedi's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend, who is rather large, picked me up to give me a hug, and some over-eager security guard actually pointed his tazer at him and told him to put me down. So he put me down and tried to ask what he'd done wrong. The bastard tazed him for acting aggressively. FML

#21490908
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28779) - you deserved it (1631)

On 11/10/2015 at 5:15pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Czech Republic

Today, my boyfriend had the choice of A) living alone gaming, or B) moving in with me, gaming in his own man-cave, lots of sex, and lots of pizza. He chose choice A. FML

#21487379
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28864) - you deserved it (4845)

On 11/02/2015 at 2:25pm - love - by Anonymous - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, a customer service guy called to fix a problem I've been having with my phone. When it transpired that he couldn't help, he transferred me to another representative. This other representative ended up being a John Deere dealer in Michigan. FML

#21463522
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20274) - you deserved it (1424)

On 09/01/2015 at 10:26pm - misc - by NotBuyingATractor (man) - United States (California)

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML

#21442690
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33755) - you deserved it (4770)

On 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm - kids - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I found out that my homophobic boyfriend, who I was giving a chance to grow the fuck up and get over his obsession with bashing gays, has been cheating on me with another man. FML

#21425403
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42417) - you deserved it (5178)

On 06/13/2015 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43065) - you deserved it (13788)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML

#21279866
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44949) - you deserved it (6606)

On 10/17/2014 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by gettinghotinhere - United States (California)

Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML

#21165186
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50792) - you deserved it (5843)

On 06/06/2014 at 5:26pm - health - by FMyBrain (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37012) - you deserved it (58196)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47385) - you deserved it (3613)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I discovered that the guy I've been seeing is a firm supporter of the Westboro Baptist Church. FML

#20947273
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58454) - you deserved it (7338)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:06am - love - by maddie - United States (Texas)

Today, I had planned to break up with my overbearing girlfriend. She went into complete denial mode, bought me a pair of oversized sunglasses and tomorrow we're going ice-skating. Kill me now. FML

#20947052
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45288) - you deserved it (11134)

On 11/05/2013 at 9:53pm - love - by Trapped. (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, for the tenth time, my teacher made a misbehaving student sit next to me as punishment. He begged for detention instead. FML

#20945365
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51025) - you deserved it (5605)

On 11/04/2013 at 5:01pm - misc - by WinkleBottom (man) - United States

Today, I woke up late and had to rush to catch my bus. Upon arriving at school, I was hot from running and took off my sweater. It was then, in a lecture hall with 400 people, that I realised I hadn't put a shirt on underneath. FML

#20945220
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48964) - you deserved it (11236)

On 11/04/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by barebackingit (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to go to a big dinner with my insane relatives. Highlights of conversation included my sister telling us about the "country of Iowa", my dad accusing me of faking my chronic fatigue syndrome, and my grandpa claiming that Nelson Mandela is the Antichrist. FML

#20941414
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37345) - you deserved it (3070)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:38pm - misc - by FUCK ME, MAKE IT STOP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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