- Town/Country : Not specified
- Title : Mister
- Birth Date : Sunday 8 October 1995 (20 years old)
- <3 status : Single
- Number of visits : 977
- Number of comments : 15
- Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted
About cobaltjedi : ummm...
About cobaltjedi : ummm...
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Today, I was hauling cow shit. I had a car following me very closely, so I turned on the spreader to get them to back off. It was a cop. I got pulled over in a tractor for spraying cow shit on a cop car. FML
by farmingman / 04/14/2016 at 7:24pm / United States (Missouri) / Work
Today, my boss told me to resign within the month, or he'll fire me and give me a bad reference. I talked to him about it again later on, this time with my phone recording everything, so I could take the proof to HR. I guess he knew, because he acted like he had no idea what I was talking about. FML
by fucked5waystofriday / 02/19/2016 at 2:51pm / United States (Indiana) / Work
Today, my boyfriend, who is rather large, picked me up to give me a hug, and some over-eager security guard actually pointed his tazer at him and told him to put me down. So he put me down and tried to ask what he'd done wrong. The bastard tazed him for acting aggressively. FML
by anonymous / 11/10/2015 at 5:15pm / Czech Republic / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/02/2015 at 2:25pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love
Today, a customer service guy called to fix a problem I've been having with my phone. When it transpired that he couldn't help, he transferred me to another representative. This other representative ended up being a John Deere dealer in Michigan. FML
by NotBuyingATractor / 09/01/2015 at 10:26pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML
by anonymous / 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/13/2015 at 10:26am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML
by too good / 10/24/2014 at 6:54am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy
by gettinghotinhere / 10/17/2014 at 2:29pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML
by FMyBrain / 06/06/2014 at 5:26pm / United States (Alaska) / Health
Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML
by FLIPmcCOOL / 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm / Ireland (Cork) / Intimacy
by thank god you'll only live once / 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by maddie / 11/06/2013 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Trapped. / 11/05/2013 at 9:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by WinkleBottom / 11/04/2013 at 5:01pm / United States / Miscellaneous