Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cnygard95

Offline (the 11/17/2014 at 7:30pm) | Search for a member

cnygard95

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 933
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About cnygard95 : I play 34 official instruments and I am a freshman in college majoring in Bachelor of Arts Instrumental Music Education and Psychology!

cnygard95's page activity

Visits<b>WoldowJR</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 10:48pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 2:19pm<b>MasterTron</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 2:00pm<b>dwood08</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 4:54am<b>fairylights85</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 8:00am<b>Cupcake040</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 8:24pm<b>d2d2d2</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 3:34pm<b>SuperBuckyKatt</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 12:35pm<b>NRCB</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 12:06pm<b>dieselfreak123</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 12:00am<b>cody1990</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 11:24am<b>bballer4life895</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 6:01am<b>Red_Lego</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 11:54pm<b>goodrum94</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 8:24pm<b>Ilovelife07</b> - the 05/23/2011 at 9:26am<b>bookb2535</b> - the 05/22/2011 at 6:54pm<b>e077</b> - the 04/28/2011 at 8:33am<b>CAPTmok</b> - the 04/28/2011 at 2:47am

cnygard95's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of cnygard95's badges

cnygard95's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML

#21292947
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36157) - you deserved it (2404)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Purple (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I graduated from Basic Training. I was really looking forward to seeing my family after being away for almost three months. They decided not to come to graduation because they didn't want to spend the money to travel here. They live 30 minutes away. FML

#21108820
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51206) - you deserved it (3387)

On 04/09/2014 at 7:47pm - money - by CheapFamily - United States

Today, I reduced my psychologist to tears. FML

#20976567
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42024) - you deserved it (3926)

On 12/01/2013 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54802) - you deserved it (6341)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76108) - you deserved it (3704)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

#20521872
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56158) - you deserved it (4520) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

#20499722
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31478) - you deserved it (4373)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34268) - you deserved it (2766)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, in history class, we were talking about Ancient Rome, and what childbirth would have been like back then. One girl asked in all seriousness why they didn't use ultrasound machines to see what sex their babies were. I have to deal with people like this on a daily basis. FML

#20398310
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28004) - you deserved it (1819)

On 12/13/2012 at 6:44pm - misc - by surrounded by dumbfucks (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my friend and I told each other about our boyfriends. They're both nice, kind, beautiful, talented, funny, sweet and smart. They also both have the same name. And house. And job. And car. FML

#20196037
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41630) - you deserved it (2771)

On 12/08/2012 at 5:44am - love - by ouch. - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with my girlfriend and a few others. The card that was drawn was labeled "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was my girlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeled "my sex life". FML

#20157215
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19496) - you deserved it (4312)

On 11/10/2012 at 6:02am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#20142294
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33103) - you deserved it (2345)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29747) - you deserved it (4521)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29747) - you deserved it (4521)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML

#20127252
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5900) - you deserved it (51007)

On 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: