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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 September 1983 (33 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1278
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 24 posted

About cmj2713 : 26 year old business owner that works hard to play hard. im laid back and happy as long as im out doin somethin active.

cmj2713's page activity

Visits<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 1:15am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:23pm<b>bigcountry1293</b> - the 04/27/2011 at 4:44pm<b>Ashleigh255</b> - the 11/21/2010 at 10:47am<b>Oz_Alice</b> - the 10/20/2010 at 10:54am<b>inukitsie</b> - the 09/25/2010 at 11:16am<b>macyinwonderland</b> - the 09/07/2010 at 12:43am<b>lybrinx</b> - the 09/07/2010 at 12:28am<b>sugarnspicee</b> - the 08/28/2010 at 11:10am<b>prettypink786</b> - the 08/24/2010 at 1:37am<b>Volleygal</b> - the 06/20/2010 at 11:35pm<b>voodoodollgirl</b> - the 06/18/2010 at 9:33am<b>1morelonelygirl</b> - the 06/15/2010 at 9:43pm<b>cOnVeRsE94</b> - the 05/17/2010 at 2:48pm<b>Trimini</b> - the 05/17/2010 at 10:15am<b>navybabebridget</b> - the 05/06/2010 at 7:48pm<b>Miss_lunatic</b> - the 04/23/2010 at 2:20pm<b>crazysicknasty</b> - the 03/06/2010 at 10:23am

cmj2713's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

cmj2713's favorite FMLs

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

by no name / 02/22/2011 at 7:25am / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me in the bathroom. That's how he found out that I wax my nipples. FML

by weezer / 02/21/2011 at 8:07am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

by anonymous / 02/21/2011 at 12:01am / Intimacy

Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML

by Mikabe / 02/14/2011 at 1:51pm / Sweden (Varmlands Lan) / Kids

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

by mom21 / 02/08/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML

by Malakai / 02/02/2011 at 12:57am / United States / Kids

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook. I didn't know her, but she was cute, so I accepted the request. After looking at her pictures, I sent her a message saying "What's up cutie, do I know you?". She responded "Yes, I'm your cousin". FML

by crucets / 10/06/2010 at 12:37am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

by mc_dreamy / 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, while I was at my boyfriend's house, I got my period. About an hour after I tell him I just got my period, he impatiently says "Is it over yet?" FML

by MandMandM / 07/19/2010 at 2:38am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML

by bleredoshia / 04/08/2010 at 12:27am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Kids

Today, the guy I liked for years asked me out. I instantly said yes. As I was walking away, I forgot I was at the top of the stairs and fell down 20 steps. He stood at the top and laughed. FML

by harro101 / 03/05/2010 at 12:24am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I bought my wedding dress and sat it on the bed while I went to buy matching shoes. When I came home, I saw my soon to be husband on the bed sitting next to my wedding dress. Turns out he spilt Coca-Cola on the dress and was trying to get it out with carpet cleanser. FML

by Stephanie / 03/04/2010 at 7:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I made heart shaped cookies for my girlfriend. My mom's reaction? "They look like dicks." FML

by adam / 02/14/2010 at 9:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

by annonymous / 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy