About cmj2713 : 26 year old business owner that works hard to play hard. im laid back and happy as long as im out doin somethin active.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40725) - you deserved it (3360)
On 02/22/2011 at 7:25am - misc - by no name -
Today, my boyfriend walked in on me in the bathroom. That's how he found out that I wax my nipples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20738) - you deserved it (20738)
On 02/21/2011 at 8:07am - intimacy - by weezer - United States
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30324) - you deserved it (9992)
On 02/21/2011 at 12:01am - intimacy - by anonymous -
Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24479) - you deserved it (8773)
On 02/14/2011 at 1:51pm - kids - by Mikabe (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)
Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45138) - you deserved it (5735)
On 02/08/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by mom21 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, while in my room sleeping, my little brother deemed it necessary to come in and drop a book on my face. When I sat up with a now bloody nose, he looked at me, pointed, and said "You've just been facebooked" and ran away giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37331) - you deserved it (7338)
On 02/02/2011 at 12:57am - kids - by Malakai - United States
Today, I received a friend request on Facebook. I didn't know her, but she was cute, so I accepted the request. After looking at her pictures, I sent her a message saying "What's up cutie, do I know you?". She responded "Yes, I'm your cousin". FML
I agree, your life sucks (8390) - you deserved it (37618)
On 10/06/2010 at 12:37am - love - by crucets (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38254) - you deserved it (10978)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, while I was at my boyfriend's house, I got my period. About an hour after I tell him I just got my period, he impatiently says "Is it over yet?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32449) - you deserved it (5127)
On 07/19/2010 at 2:38am - intimacy - by MandMandM (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20526) - you deserved it (50207)
On 04/08/2010 at 12:27am - kids - by bleredoshia (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, the guy I liked for years asked me out. I instantly said yes. As I was walking away, I forgot I was at the top of the stairs and feel down 20 steps. He stood at the top and laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16939) - you deserved it (4792)
On 03/05/2010 at 12:24am - love - by harro101 - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I bought my wedding dress and sat it on the bed while I went to buy matching shoes. When I came home, I saw my soon to be husband on the bed sitting next to my wedding dress. Turns out he spilt Coca-Cola on the dress and was trying to get it out with carpet cleanser. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18103) - you deserved it (3433)
On 03/04/2010 at 7:01pm - love - by Stephanie (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I made heart shaped cookies for my girlfriend. My mom's reaction? "They look like dicks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12309) - you deserved it (2580)
On 02/14/2010 at 9:16pm - intimacy - by adam - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38502) - you deserved it (2230)
On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (461136) - you deserved it (572904)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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