About Cmj2713
26 year old business owner that works hard to play hard. im laid back and happy as long as im out doin somethin active.
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Cmj2713's favorite FMLs

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

By RC3Welly - / Monday 9 March 2009 22:58 / United States

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me in the bathroom. That's how he found out that I wax my nipples. FML

By weezer / Monday 21 February 2011 13:07 / United States

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

By anonymous / Monday 21 February 2011 05:01 /

Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML

By Mikabe - / Monday 14 February 2011 18:51 / Sweden

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

By mom21 / Tuesday 8 February 2011 17:46 / United States