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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12149) - you deserved it (29011)
On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, as I walked into my class, someone shouted at me, "Wild Snorlax Appeared! Use Your Ultra Balls!", since I am overweight and everyone in class laughed at me. I got made fun of by Pokémon nerds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25726) - you deserved it (4967)
On 01/19/2010 at 7:03pm - misc - by snorlax (man) - United States (California)
Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25132) - you deserved it (2334)
On 01/10/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by wowhoopla - Sent from mobile version
Today, I woke up and felt that my arm was sore. I got so drunk last night, I got an unprofessional tattoo of a penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6511) - you deserved it (31463)
On 01/08/2010 at 6:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went on a blind date that my best friend had set up for me. When I arrived, I introduced myself and we sat at the table. After we ordered our food, he asked the waiter for some crayons and a kid's menu, and colored for the half hour before our food came. He didn't talk to me at all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20352) - you deserved it (2473)
On 01/05/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
I agree, your life sucks (23379) - you deserved it (1642)
On 12/19/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML
I agree, your life sucks (27061) - you deserved it (1468)
On 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm - misc - by Ghost (man) - United States
Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7790) - you deserved it (25194)
On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (10702) - you deserved it (14449)
On 12/11/2009 at 1:11pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was attending a drug-free lecture at school. The speaker said, "There are many ways to quit smoking. You can try patches, gum, or even quitting cold turkey. Any questions?" I raised my hand, and she called on me. I asked, "How does cold turkey help?" And then I realized. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4794) - you deserved it (22658)
On 12/09/2009 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32548) - you deserved it (1803)
On 12/09/2009 at 2:39am - misc - by PoorGramps - United States (Texas)
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about how I'm self conscious about my weight. He looks at me and says, "Don't worry babe, I've always been kind of a chubby chaser." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16380) - you deserved it (5191)
On 11/24/2009 at 12:03am - health - by cc (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show my school spirit in a contest. Being drunk, I decided to hump the school mascot in front of 300 people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4228) - you deserved it (33839)
On 10/30/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by skyhawk13 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the first time my wife and I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me and it was love at first sight. I looked to my right as she stormed off and then realized I had told a story about my ex-girlfriend who was sitting in the crowd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6337) - you deserved it (58791)
On 10/28/2009 at 5:22pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15599) - you deserved it (68857)
On 09/16/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by sarahh38 (man) - Canada (Quebec)
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