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cmac86

Offline (the 01/29/2016 at 9:10am) | Search for a member

cmac86

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 29892
  • Number of comments : 1525
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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cmac86's page activity

Visits<b>bananajoe666</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 5:06pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 8:10pm<b>yourmomshotfirst</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 3:11pm<b>JohntheDeadlock</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 8:43am<b>Allornone</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 10:41pm<b>raven83</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 6:31am<b>missmorggan</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 2:28pm<b>luther48</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:36pm<b>chrissy0</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 1:24am<b>doge750</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 11:33pm<b>Kyle17206</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 10:32pm<b>hduebdo</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 7:33am<b>nyf137</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 2:52am<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 4:19pm<b>JaysBae</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 2:14pm<b>user716</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 6:40pm<b>camcaresjkno</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 10:19pm<b>mondesno</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 9:54am

Fucked!<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 8:14am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 11:22pm<b>16bees</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 4:13pm<b>Melharr</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 8:26pm<b>pitbull3k</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 11:13am

cmac86's FML badges

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I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of cmac86's badges

cmac86's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the Giants game. During the seventh inning stretch they showed me on the jumbo-tron. It was just in time for the entire stadium to see me pull a tampon out of my purse. FML

#20799228
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63996) - you deserved it (8344)

On 07/23/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by GiantsFan13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a call from the police. Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them. I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds. FML

#20797971
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45989) - you deserved it (5438)

On 07/22/2013 at 5:06pm - kids - by Parentalfailure (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

#20790198
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57427) - you deserved it (4292)

On 07/18/2013 at 10:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was marking exams. I then had to explain to many of the students that (a) pigs are not aquatic animals and (b) sharks do not have lungs. These are university students. FML

#20784658
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45436) - you deserved it (3937)

On 07/15/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by lame-o-prof (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while lifeguarding at my local beach, I noticed someone having difficulty swimming back to shore. I ran out and swam him back to shore. Once we were on dry land, he cussed me out for "emasculating" him in front of his girlfriend. FML

Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn. I'm a girl. FML

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

#20778979
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67986) - you deserved it (5081)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:22am - love - by Stacy (woman) - United States

Today, after I got turned down for yet another job, my dad glanced up at me and casually remarked that porn is always a stable market. FML

#20776199
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60596) - you deserved it (6402)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by fucked up dad (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

#20775868
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61642) - you deserved it (7163)

On 07/11/2013 at 11:18am - work - by vet1 (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107669) - you deserved it (12702)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my therapist told me to write any negative thoughts that I had on a piece of paper and then set fire to it. When I lit it in the trash can, huge flames broke out and I had to throw the trash can out my window to keep from setting my house on fire. FML

#20775563
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30392) - you deserved it (39473)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81729) - you deserved it (4069)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML

#20763590
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62454) - you deserved it (4972)

On 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I saw my older sister for the first time in three years. We hadn't spoke since I found out that she was the woman my college boyfriend left me for. Unfortunately, our reunion was fueled by her two-year-old son's desire to meet his dad. My husband. FML

#20760666
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69275) - you deserved it (5552)

On 07/02/2013 at 10:39pm - love - by Jenn (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my shoe fell apart a few minutes after I got to work. I called my boyfriend and asked him to bring me the "pretty black pair" in my closet. What did he bring? Black stilettos. I'm a waitress with an eight hour shift. FML

#20756560
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36958) - you deserved it (30805)

On 06/30/2013 at 7:00pm - work - by readytoamputatemyfeet (woman) - United States (Florida)



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