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cmac86

Offline (the 05/23/2015 at 9:24am) | Search for a member

cmac86

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 25459
  • Number of comments : 1509
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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cmac86's page activity

Visits<b>oops6663</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 5:11pm<b>taylorzgoines</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 11:16pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 3:32pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 1:18pm<b>Galacticain</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 11:38am<b>Phantomisr</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 7:41am<b>jkp1291</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 9:50pm<b>Eating_Tin</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 7:34am<b>clevergirl98</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 6:03am<b>Cads1</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 4:38am<b>Vulkfury</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 10:44pm<b>Melharr</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 2:26pm<b>brook823</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 1:53pm<b>Jay0501</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 12:46am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 3:51pm<b>Karennnx</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 8:24pm<b>tournamentdecide</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 2:32pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:20am

Fucked!<b>Melharr</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 8:26pm<b>pitbull3k</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 11:13am

cmac86's FML badges

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I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of cmac86's badges

cmac86's favorite FMLs

Today, I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen on the beach. I was nervous, but I just smiled and said, "Hey, you're really pretty." Then I let out a horrific fart. FML

#20816798
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51782) - you deserved it (11075)

On 08/02/2013 at 9:58am - misc - by YouSoSmelly (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while taking a walk in the forest, someone approached me and asked to borrow the knife I had clipped to my pocket. I happily obliged, assuming he just needed it as a tool. Instead, he used the knife to mug me, taking my cellphone and my wallet. I was robbed with my own knife. FML

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56412) - you deserved it (9348)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to: "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML

#20803390
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61116) - you deserved it (7293)

On 07/25/2013 at 7:20pm - love - by sucksatlove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I helped my buddy write a sweet love letter to his girlfriend. After reading it, she dumped him for being an "Edward Cullen wannabe", and when my girlfriend found out, she dumped me for "cheating" on her by writing the letter in the first place. FML

#20802821
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49536) - you deserved it (5753)

On 07/25/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by ........................... (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I went to the Giants game. During the seventh inning stretch they showed me on the jumbo-tron. It was just in time for the entire stadium to see me pull a tampon out of my purse. FML

#20799228
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61616) - you deserved it (8029)

On 07/23/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by GiantsFan13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a call from the police. Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them. I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds. FML

#20797971
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42374) - you deserved it (5011)

On 07/22/2013 at 5:06pm - kids - by Parentalfailure (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

#20790198
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53825) - you deserved it (4023)

On 07/18/2013 at 10:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was marking exams. I then had to explain to many of the students that (a) pigs are not aquatic animals and (b) sharks do not have lungs. These are university students. FML

#20784658
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42663) - you deserved it (3705)

On 07/15/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by lame-o-prof (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while lifeguarding at my local beach, I noticed someone having difficulty swimming back to shore. I ran out and swam him back to shore. Once we were on dry land, he cussed me out for "emasculating" him in front of his girlfriend. FML

Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn. I'm a girl. FML

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

#20778979
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65707) - you deserved it (4907)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:22am - love - by Stacy (woman) - United States

Today, after I got turned down for yet another job, my dad glanced up at me and casually remarked that porn is always a stable market. FML

#20776199
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56243) - you deserved it (5982)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by fucked up dad (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

#20775868
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59391) - you deserved it (6971)

On 07/11/2013 at 11:18am - work - by vet1 (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100207) - you deserved it (11698)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



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