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Offline (the 01/29/2016 at 9:10am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 34142
  • Number of comments : 1525
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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cmac86's page activity

Visits<b>142857</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 2:38pm<b>LiquidGoldRose</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 6:35am<b>28actress</b> - the 09/11/2016 at 6:41am<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 11:29am<b>Aerosmith71</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 7:25pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 12:53pm<b>christophbak</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 6:18am<b>Snip_Snap</b> - the 07/12/2016 at 3:13am<b>CREA</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 8:43pm<b>queen_jae614</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 2:13am<b>Muskrat777</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 9:04am<b>raven83</b> - the 06/06/2016 at 8:01pm<b>Joshawott14</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 8:18pm<b>bolee997</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 5:18am<b>tisvana18</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 12:03pm<b>BananEnigma</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 6:03pm<b>nopenopenopeneva</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 12:07am<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 9:25pm

Fucked!<b>Vegan_Cannibal</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 5:12pm<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 8:14am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 11:22pm<b>16bees</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 4:13pm<b>Melharr</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 8:26pm<b>pitbull3k</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 11:13am

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cmac86's favorite FMLs

Today, one of my regular customers asked when we were getting married. I told him as much as I would love that, I didn't think my boyfriend would be very happy. He called me a "stuck up b*tch" and informed me he only comes to my line because he can always see through my shirt. He is 72. And married. FML

by peejay6831 / 09/23/2013 at 2:27am / United States / Work

Today, I started shaking my son's Little Bill doll in frustration, as the batteries weren't working. My nosy neighbor saw through the window and called the cops. They wouldn't believe me and now the whole neighborhood thinks I'm a child abuser. FML

by baddad / 09/23/2013 at 12:44am / United States / Kids

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that what I thought for years was my country's National Anthem, is actually the theme song of a TV show. FML

by :| / 09/12/2013 at 6:27pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was asked to leave a church service for laughing at the kids trying to sing. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 9:29am / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Kids

Today, I found out that if I say "make a sandwich", it doesn't matter what context it's in, or whether it's a command or just me describing my day; I'll be yelled at anyway by my hipster roommate for being a "sexist cunt", then end up apologizing just to get her to shut up. FML

by Anonymous / 09/05/2013 at 3:11pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

by down trodden / 09/05/2013 at 3:45am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

by dear god help me. / 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm / United States (Hawaii) / Work

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

by SplishSplash / 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

by criminal tit offender / 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

by fartz / 08/31/2013 at 2:04am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. They thought it'd be hilarious to put on ridiculous accents and act like country hicks, spewing obscenities and strongly hinting that we're into incest. She soon left in disgust. I haven't heard back from her since. FML

by >_< / 08/30/2013 at 6:56pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2013 at 5:05pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

by thanks, dad... / 08/30/2013 at 1:24pm / Romania (Maramures) / Kids

Today, I found out after spending my life's income on paying for my grandma's cancer treatment that she has been faking it. FML

by scammed / 08/29/2013 at 2:48pm / United States (Arizona) / Health