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cmac86

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cmac86
  • Town/Country : Little Rock, Ar, Arkansas
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 17091
  • Number of comments : 1455
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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cmac86's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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cmac86's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML

#20716829
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45265) - you deserved it (4634)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:09am - work - by Frazz (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that my parents were artists when they met. My mom said that I was one of their best projects yet. My sister, hearing what my mother said, broke my week-old PS3 in a rage. FML

#20699851
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43325) - you deserved it (2859)

On 06/01/2013 at 7:31pm - misc - by H1dd3n (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad went snooping on my laptop, and saw that I'd recently looked up 2 Girls, 1 Cup. It was out of morbid curiosity, but he thinks I'm into "satanic porn", and confiscated every electronic device I own. Now I have to sneak to the library just to check my emails. FML

#20697878
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35972) - you deserved it (13354)

On 05/31/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by nbj10 (man) - Singapore

Today, my friends and I went out for drinks. I'm the only one who's actually 21 or over, and they have fake IDs. Not only was I the only one to be carded, the bartender thought that my actual ID was fake. I got kicked out while my friends kept drinking. FML

#20697496
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48071) - you deserved it (3728)

On 05/31/2013 at 2:47pm - misc - by whyme - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

#20694089
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43812) - you deserved it (8830)

On 05/29/2013 at 9:53pm - misc - by paulinapo - United States (New York)

Today, I told my boyfriend of ten months that I'm not ready for marriage. A few hours later he proposed at my grandma's 85th birthday party. She cried when I said no. FML

#20692547
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49118) - you deserved it (10221)

On 05/29/2013 at 1:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, an elderly woman couldn't afford all of her groceries at the checkout so she started to take out a few things. I offered to pay for her groceries; she thanked me and walked out. An onlooker then came up to me and told me that she does it to someone every week. FML

#20692497
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50691) - you deserved it (5146)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:49am - money - by $$$ - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61564) - you deserved it (13914)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to go with my mom to the gynecologist to translate due to her broken English. As we were filling out papers and answering questions, the doctor asked some very personal questions. I now know everything about my mom's sex life. FML

#20678467
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55927) - you deserved it (5897)

On 05/21/2013 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by knowtoomuch - United States (Colorado)

Today, my house was damaged by a tornado. I called my mother to see if I could stay with her for a few days. Her response? "I warned you not to move in with a man. This is God's way of punishing you." I've been married to said man for almost a year now. FML

#20676306
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38550) - you deserved it (2402)

On 05/20/2013 at 8:37pm - misc - by hotelbound - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got a new cat. It was fine for a couple of hours until it gave birth in my kitchen. The seller claims to have no idea that it was pregnant. Now I have to take care of 7 cats instead of 2. FML

#20676137
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33262) - you deserved it (5253)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:23pm - animals - by catcraze - United States (Colorado)

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

#20675279
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38161) - you deserved it (2873)

On 05/20/2013 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML

#20674602
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52906) - you deserved it (2524)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by pregnant loser apparently (woman) - United States (West Virginia)



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