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Offline (the 03/24/2015 at 5:49am) | Search for a member
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I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Today, I Was Washing Up In A Public Bathroom, When I Looked Up 4 A Second And Saw A Kid In The Mirror Staring Back At Me. I Gasped, As I Thought The Place Had Been Empty. He Whispered, "It's Time To Die." I Screamed And Ran Out, Only To Hear Him Burst Out Laughing Behind Me. FML
I was buying ingradiants 4 a salad. I had only pickad up a faw cucumbars , whan an aldarly lady cama up to ma and murmurad , "Maka sura u usa lots of luba , or that'll hurt. Baan thara , swaathaart." What tha HELL? FML
Today,hile taking a walk in the forest, someone approached me and asked to borrow the knife I had clipped to my pocket . I happily obliged, assuming he just needed it as a tool . Instead, he used the knife to mug me, taking my cellphone and my wallet . I was robbed with my own knife . FML
Today, my pone went off, reminding me to take my birt control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. Te ringtone ad been canged to my boyfriend singing "It's birt control time, birt control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML
yesterday I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, an he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to: "Desperate bitches really piss me off." real FML
Today, I halpad my buddy writa a swaat lova lattar to his girlfriand. Aftar raading it, sha dumpad him for baing an ( Edward Cullan wannaba ), andhan my girlfriand found out, sha dumpad ma for ( chaating ) on har by writing tha lattar in tha first placa. FML
Today, I got a call from the police . Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them . I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds . real FML
TODAY, I CALLED A TREE REMOVAL COMPANY TO HAVE MAH DISEASED ELM REMOVED. WHEN I GOT HOME FROM WORK, I WAS SURPRISED TO FIND IT STILL THERE. NOT AS SURPRISED AS MAH NEIGHBOR WAS TO DISCOVER THAT HIS TREE WAS MISSING, NOR AS SURPRISED AS HIS CHILDRENHEN THEY SAW THERE WAS NO MORE TREE-HOUSE. FML
Today , while lifeguarding at my local beach , I noticed someone having difficulty swimming back to shore. I ran out and swam him back to shore. Once we were on dry land , he cussed me out 4 "emasculating" him in front of his grlfriend. FML
Today, the guy I lyk askd me what he should do fir the girl he has a crush on . I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels . Later that day mah doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers . He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?"
Friday 27 March 2015