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cmac86

Offline (the 12/17/2014 at 8:35am) | Search for a member

cmac86

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 21039
  • Number of comments : 1479
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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cmac86's page activity

Visits<b>CurtisGirl</b> - yesterday at 10:58pm<b>pitbull3k</b> - yesterday at 5:12am<b>Azail</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 4:18am<b>Laylette</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 4:53pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 3:57pm<b>Xobubblyxo</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 9:20am<b>mommy2cassidy</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 4:50am<b>gkhalil98</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 5:08pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 10:33am<b>thedoerofgood</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 4:20pm<b>Door_Productions</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 8:55am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 7:14am<b>imapartypooper</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 5:39am<b>Briaangel12</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 11:44pm<b>trevmi99</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 10:27pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 11/16/2014 at 10:22am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 2:38pm<b>DefiantGirl</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 3:44pm

Liked!<b>pitbull3k</b> - yesterday at 11:13am

cmac86's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of cmac86's badges

cmac86's favorite FMLs

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56243) - you deserved it (9325)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to: "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML

#20803390
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59507) - you deserved it (7113)

On 07/25/2013 at 7:20pm - love - by sucksatlove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I helped my buddy write a sweet love letter to his girlfriend. After reading it, she dumped him for being an "Edward Cullen wannabe", and when my girlfriend found out, she dumped me for "cheating" on her by writing the letter in the first place. FML

#20802821
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47327) - you deserved it (5517)

On 07/25/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by ........................... (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I went to the Giants game. During the seventh inning stretch they showed me on the jumbo-tron. It was just in time for the entire stadium to see me pull a tampon out of my purse. FML

#20799228
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60071) - you deserved it (7823)

On 07/23/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by GiantsFan13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a call from the police. Apparently my son tried robbing a teenage couple, but wound up getting his ass beat by both of them. I don't know what's worse, that my 32-year-old son is a criminal, or that he got it handed to him by 15-year-olds. FML

#20797971
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42209) - you deserved it (4987)

On 07/22/2013 at 5:06pm - kids - by Parentalfailure (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

#20790198
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53680) - you deserved it (4013)

On 07/18/2013 at 10:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was marking exams. I then had to explain to many of the students that (a) pigs are not aquatic animals and (b) sharks do not have lungs. These are university students. FML

#20784658
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42518) - you deserved it (3693)

On 07/15/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by lame-o-prof (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while lifeguarding at my local beach, I noticed someone having difficulty swimming back to shore. I ran out and swam him back to shore. Once we were on dry land, he cussed me out for "emasculating" him in front of his girlfriend. FML

Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn. I'm a girl. FML

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

#20778979
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63655) - you deserved it (4752)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:22am - love - by Stacy (woman) - United States

Today, after I got turned down for yet another job, my dad glanced up at me and casually remarked that porn is always a stable market. FML

#20776199
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56068) - you deserved it (5970)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by fucked up dad (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

#20775868
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58554) - you deserved it (6894)

On 07/11/2013 at 11:18am - work - by vet1 (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99761) - you deserved it (11650)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my therapist told me to write any negative thoughts that I had on a piece of paper and then set fire to it. When I lit it in the trash can, huge flames broke out and I had to throw the trash can out my window to keep from setting my house on fire. FML

#20775563
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28855) - you deserved it (37513)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76158) - you deserved it (3706)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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