Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

cmac86

Offline (the 07/30/2015 at 10:19am) | Search for a member

cmac86

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 27371
  • Number of comments : 1516
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

cmac86's page activity

Visits<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 5:22pm<b>Dowbo</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 10:44pm<b>Unused_Account13</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 7:30pm<b>jonathan7777</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 11:21pm<b>taylorzgoines</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 2:13pm<b>Nicky816</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:15am<b>16bees</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 10:13am<b>hfudge</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 2:17pm<b>cabub007</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 10:29am<b>facelick</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 1:57pm<b>soulcrusher11</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 4:30am<b>Umbreon_Princess</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 2:07am<b>futureot1</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 11:34am<b>slippy327</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 6:22am<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 5:59pm<b>dmcintosh</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 7:04am<b>SweetSociopathy</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 9:48pm<b>klutz44</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 9:27pm

Fucked!<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 11:22pm<b>16bees</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 4:13pm<b>Melharr</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 8:26pm<b>pitbull3k</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 11:13am

cmac86's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of cmac86's badges

cmac86's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, there are people working in my bathroom. I have the shits. The only place I could think to go was in my cats litter box. I've used it twice and am now contemplating using it a third time. FML

#21220246
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38752) - you deserved it (6648)

On 07/25/2014 at 11:54am - animals - by shewhopoopsinlitterboxes (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49920) - you deserved it (7527)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, five minutes before closing, a woman came in to buy over $300 worth of clothing from the sales rack. My manager and I had to ring it all up, de-sensor it, fold it, bag it, etc. After it was all rung up, her credit card was declined. FML

Today, after my bosses excitedly told me I'm getting promoted to customer service at our grocery store, a customer called me an idiot in the parking lot for accidentally backing into the shopping cart she left in my blind spot. And so it begins. FML

#21146606
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37371) - you deserved it (5038)

On 05/20/2014 at 7:50pm - work - by Helpful Smile - United States (Iowa)

Today, while driving out to the countryside with my new boyfriend, we came across a deer lying in the road. It seemed badly hurt, but instead of letting me get out and make sure, my boyfriend decided to just run over its head to finish it off, then continued driving with a smirk on his face. FML

#21138836
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56253) - you deserved it (8846)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:02pm - animals - by dating a big bag of dicks (woman) - United States

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

#21137389
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60249) - you deserved it (5148)

On 05/12/2014 at 1:17am - kids - by kids -

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

#21133982
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64113) - you deserved it (8116)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML

#21127873
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49741) - you deserved it (4536)

On 05/01/2014 at 10:17am - animals - by Felicityfrank (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

#21116112
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22685) - you deserved it (55577)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:09am - health - by Ow (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54845) - you deserved it (6741)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML

#21049518
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56925) - you deserved it (6493)

On 02/03/2014 at 5:47pm - love - by well i'm fucked (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found a Google search for "erectile dysfunction" in my browser search history, along with pages about treatments for it. I'm a woman, and I live alone. FML

#21049445
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45257) - you deserved it (3433)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:16pm - misc - by jai90 (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML

#21049132
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42029) - you deserved it (3884)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:29am - health - by Sleepless (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML

#21022033
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27058) - you deserved it (35281)

On 01/08/2014 at 7:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: